Babygirl wants to be humiliated

Babygirl is the second film/series I’ve seen recently about a woman who starts acting on her lifelong secret sexual desires later in life. The other was Dying for Sex, which is a mirror image of Babygirl. Dying for Sex is about a woman (Michelle Williams) who wants to dominate her partners. Babygirl is about a woman who wants to be dominated and humiliated by her partners.

Both were created by women and mostly directed by women. (Here’s to the female gaze!) Halina Reijn wrote and directed Babygirl, which stars Nicole Kidman. Also recently released is Gillian Anderson’s new book of anonymous sexual fantasies from women called “Want.”* In a world where women’s sexual fantasies don’t normally receive a lot of attention, three such releases so close together blow open a lot of secrets.

In Babygirl, Romy (Nicole Kidman) runs a huge business involving robots used to prepare packages for delivery. She is married to Broadway director Jacob (Antonio Banderas). They seem to have a great sex life when the film opens to loud moans and groans. However, when it’s over we see Romy sprint off to the bathroom where she watches porn to finish herself off.

Romy and Jacob have two daughters. One is an accepted and loved lesbian who has a good relationship with her parents.

Then Samuel (Harris Dickinson) shows up in her life as a new intern. Samuel instinctively realizes that Romy wants to be dominated and he starts showing her he’s the man for the job immediately. He begins with harmless things like ordering her a glass of milk in a bar and watching from afar as she drinks it all one big gulp while looking at him.

It doesn’t take long before she’s hooked. His command over her is absolute and she loves the sexual charge she gets out of it. She can’t stay away from him. Everything in her life starts to fall apart, but she keep going back for more sex.

Her family is neglected and lied to. People at work, including, the ambitious Esme (Sophie Wilde), figure out what’s going on and make demands. She’s willing to risk any danger, any threat to her way of life, to keep being punished and humiliated by Samuel.

We don’t get any backstory about what made Romy need this kind of treatment from men. Nicole Kidman is so freaking fantastic at showing how badly she wants it and will do anything to get it that it doesn’t matter what made her that way. Nicole Kidman makes it real, visceral.

I saw several people who commented that Babygirl was funny. I didn’t find it funny at all. What’s funny about watching a powerful woman submit to the humiliations of a much younger man who is her employee? Women degrading themselves aren’t funny to me.

I don’t think this movie is for everyone. The people who will love it know who they are. After a run in theaters, Babygirl is now streaming on Max. Whether you loved it or hated it, the comments are open.

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