Badhaai Do review: LGBTQ lives in India

Badhaai Do comes from India. It the story of a lavender marriage where a gay man and a lesbian decide to hide behind a marriage so their parents and society at large will think they are not queer. That’s them faking it in the photo above. They do look like a happy couple. It’s an act.

Even getting Badhaai Do made in India is something of a feat. LGBTQ rights there are far behind what we see in the U.S. The film tells two love stories – one for him and one for her. It also explores family relationships and homophobia in general.

The film is almost 2 1/2 hours long. It spends a good bit of that time on the big traditional wedding, which I didn’t think needed to be emphasized. The marriage was a fake and the story simply needed an acknowledgement that it happened.

Shardul (Rajkummar Rao) is a cop, a body builder, and a gay man. Sumi (Bhumi Pednekar) is a women’s P.E. teacher and a lesbian. Both of them were excellent in this as they struggled to survive parents and social norms.

Sumi fell in love with Rimjhim (Chum Darang), a nurse. They were together throughout the film. Shardul had several romances during the film, ending with Guru (Gulshan Devaiah).

There was no kissing, no overt sex. But the actors did such a fine job of conveying their love and longing that it was clear sex was going on. I suspect the film couldn’t have been made otherwise.

There was a lot of worrying about being discovered. Especially from Shardul because of his job as a cop. Neither of them had support from their families. After a year of their fake marriage the families started demanding grandchildren. Sumi actually wanted children, but there was no hope the two of them would be able to produce one together. She suggested adoption, an idea that wasn’t well received at first.

Shardul had a huge family. I thought the actor playing his mother (Sheeba Chaddha) was especially good. She went to live with Shardul and Sumi for a while to figure out why they weren’t having children. As hard as they tried to hide their private lives from her, she discovered the truth. They were forced to come out to their families. It was ugly at first.

There were some lovely and heartwarming scenes in the film, too. My favorite was during a Pride Parade. Shardul was there doing traffic control as a police officer. Guru, Sumi and Rimjhim were dancing in the parade wearing Pride colors. Shardul took a Pride mask Guru was wearing and put it on himself as he worked, casting worried glances at his co-workers. They actually applauded his move.

By the end of the film, which ended happily, the relationship between the main characters was changed. It reflected some of the changes happening in the larger society in India around LGBTQ individuals.

Although the film was too long, it was beautifully done with a lot of charm and warmth. It’s available on Netflix.