My Dearest Señorita (Mi querida señorita) tells a carefully nonjudgmental story about an intersex individual growing up in Spain in the 1980s and 1990s. It is based on a previous 1972 movie. Moving the story to 1999 serves to show how little progress had been made in Spain regarding intersexuality.

My Dearest Señorita begins with loving parents who choose surgery for their intersex baby to make her “normal.” Adela/A.D. (Elisabeth Martínez) grew up being treated as female. Her mother never tells the truth to Adela when Adela asks why she never has periods, why she had to take estrogen.

She’s very tall and broad shouldered. Children tease her and call her a horse.

At age 25, Adela was still living with her parents and grandmother. She taught Sunday school and was immersed in a Catholicism that would not recognize who she was.

She had a car accident with her grandmother (María Galiana) in the car. A therapist named Isabel (Anna Castillo) arrived to do physical therapy for her grandmother. Isabel was a lesbian and was immediately smitten by Adela. Adela was smitten right back.

Inexperienced and sheltered, Adela didn’t know what to do with her feelings about Isabel. She thought she was supposed to be attracted to a male friend from her childhood, but when he kissed her she ran off.

Adela secretly found her way to a gynecologist where she learned the truth about what had been done to her. She was angry and hurt. She talked to her priest, Padre José María (Paco León), a gay man who told her about himself and assured her that she was perfect just the way she was. Her grandmother told her about other members of her family who had been part of the LGBTQIA world, too.

Adela ran to Madrid. She started living as a man and used the name A.D. He took testosterone and grew a mustache. In Madrid, A.D. met a large queer community with loving characters of every kind. They took A.D. in and treated him with respect and love.

He was hired as a receptionist for a group of sex and BDSM workers. The boss used a crutch and was in poor health. Who was attending to the boss’s physical therapy? None other than Isabela, who had come to Madrid hoping to find acting jobs.

Being in Madrid with its big loving queer community was healing. Now Adela/A.D. felt free enough to admit to loving Isabela, and Isabela still felt the same way too. Finally a road to happiness opened ahead.

Elisabeth Martínez is an intersex actor. That gave so much weight to this story and made the performance feel real and authentic. It was more than the story of one individual, however. Spanish social customs and laws did not recognize intersex individuals as such and there was so much social stigma against any kind of “deviation.” Adela’s parents made the decisions they did out of a desire to protect their child. Then there was the Catholic Church holding power over life in Spain. The church did not regard anyone under the umbrella of queer as being one of god’s children like everyone else.

People like Adela had to find their own way to live and love outside of that social structure. Happily, she did find community and love. She did find a way to express her true self with pride. Not everyone does.

I thought My Dearest Señorita was a beautiful movie. Sensitive and touching, it tied the past to the present in real ways.

Here’s the trailer. The film is streaming on Netflix. I recommend it. If you like this film, you might want to check out XXY also.