The Canadian comedy How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town is a romp as funny as the title suggests. The film stars several favorite actors of mine. It’s funny and poignant at the same time. Continue reading “Review: How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town”
I’ve been waiting months for How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town to reach the US. It’s finally here. It’s in some theaters, available on video on demand, from Amazon Video and iTunes. Written and directed by Jeremy LaLonde, the buzz on How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town has been nothing but good from day one. Continue reading “Watch This: Trailer for How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town”
Truth is based on the real newsroom drama detailing the 2004 CBS 60 Minutes report investigating then-President George W. Bush’s military service. The subsequent firestorm of criticism cost anchor Dan Rather and producer Mary Mapes their careers. The film is based on Mary Mapes memoir, “Truth and Duty: The Press, the President, and the Privilege of Power.” She was one of the screenwriters.Continue reading “Watch This: Trailer for Truth with Cate Blanchett and Robert Redford”
This is the plot synopsis:
A scientist initiates her brain-dead partner’s secret experiment to find out what happened to him. But what she experiences is a mind-bending reality that threatens both their lives.
Also in the film are Aaron Abrams, Joey Klein, and Tennille Read.
Here’s the entire Entangled.
After watching the film, I think we can agree that Tony Elliott should not propose this solution for the multiplicity of Maslanys on Orphan Black.
Margarita, starring Nicola Correia Damude as the Mexican nanny Margarita, is the Canadian version of A Day Without a Mexican. In the same way that all of California comes to a screeching halt without Mexicans doing the actual business of making life work in A Day Without a Mexican, so Margarita makes life work for everyone around her. Only when she’s threatened with deportation, do the people around her notice how valuable she is.
Spoilers ahead. Continue reading “Review: Margarita”
In the “Waves” episode of Lost Girl, two separate stories are told in tandem. One is a procedural crime-solving tale involving Kenzi, Dyson and Lauren. The other takes us back to the train and answers a lot of questions for us about Bo and Rainer. This being Lost Girl, the episode also sets up a lot of new questions for us to ponder as we wait for the next episode.
Bo (Anna Silk) hangs her head over the sink in the clubhouse bathroom, hearing voices in her head expressing doubt about her actions. She looks at herself in the mirror. She’s bloody. Rainer (Kyle Schmid) comes into view. Rainer says, “It had to be done,” but Bo looks skeptical.
A blonde woman (Karen Cliche) is on the phone threatening business associates. She’s by a pool, which she walks into for a swim. Something disturbs the water behind her, there are a couple of thunks in the music.
When she pulls herself out of the pool, her legs are missing.
Lauren (Zoie Palmer) and Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) are at the boxing ring. They complain that Bo has locked them out, has taken off for the train on her own. Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) comes in with giant coffees for everyone and a case to solve. Lauren and Dyson thinks she’s nuts talking about cases when Bo is off on the train alone, but Kenzi says, “A woman’s legs went missing.”
They argue about Bo, whether they should do something or trust her to go it alone.
In rolls the aforementioned legless lady. How are Dyson and Lauren going to ignore that?
Bo is cleaned up, sitting on her bed in a kimono, looking worried. Rainer comes in wearing a towel. Bo says, “I need to understand. What if this is a mistake?”
“I had to go back to the train for you. I went dark for you. I did the impossible. But this. . . . What we did.”
Rainer says it was necessary. Bo says the memories are back, but now that they are in her world, the real world, she needs to understand. The camera moves to some candles, a train whistle sounds, and we go into an extended flashback of Bo’s time on the train. The explanation for all the blood and her concern over what they did will come later.
Bo enters the train, mad about her friends being harassed, the pub being blown up, and being kidnapped. We’re at the start of her train ride. Rainer stands beside a windup record player, spinning “The Wanderer.”
Rainer is tired of brunettes, tired of the music he’s playing and not interested in answering questions. As he sees it, her choices are stay while he pretends to court her until he’s tired of her, or she gets off at the next stop. Either way, she’ll remember nothing.
Bo suggests option 3. He tells her why he kidnapped her. He claims he doesn’t know why she’s there. He calls the handmaiden (Linzee Barclay) to show Bo her chambers and says she’ll be getting off at the next stop if she knows what’s good for her.
Lauren offers the legless lady a drink of water, which she refuses.
Dyson, Lauren and Kenzi listen to legless Diana and her tale. She claims she’s a pixie. She points a finger of suspicion at at dude named Darren in her corporation. Diana will get them into the corporation undercover. Dyson says he and Kenzi will go undercover because he’s been training her.
Kenzi says, “Shadow thief. Check your panties. Anyone missing any panties?” She waves a pair of purple panties in the air. Lauren grabs them and says, “You have got to stop doing that.” Dyson says, “I did not teach her to do that.” These three together are better than a vaudeville act.
Undercover at the corporation, Dyson was supposed to be an efficiency expert but we see him rolling a mail cart. Kenzi was supposed to be a mail girl, but she’s in an office in a red suit, looking at a computer. Not the kind of role switching these two have done before, but still pretty funny. The three investigators are connected to each other by earpieces. Lauren’s back at the boxing gym, doing science with her phone, iPad, and a water hose.
Dyson delivers mail to Darren’s office, but is stopped by Tad (Matt Lemche). Nobody gets to go to Darren’s office. Since he can’t deliver the mail, Dyson attaches a heat sensing band aid to the the mail. Kenzi will follow the heat trail by climbing through the vent system. Yeah, you kinda had to be there to get it.
Kenzi drops out of a vent into a room full of disembodied gams. Legs everywhere. She hears a noise. It’s Darren’s mail dropping into a vat. Kenzi finds a medical report for Tad that involves big money. She sends photos to Lauren.
Dyson is at the swimming pool where he sees a plant Lauren is interested in. He grabs some for Lauren. Dyson notices the pool is salt water and he finds a pearl.
The handmaiden enters Bo’s chambers on the train, only to be grabbed and threatened. Bo and her knife are always ready for action.
The handmaiden tells Bo that the next stop isn’t for 3 days. If she jumps off before that, she’ll evaporate or get transcendental sickness and die. (Where is Clio when you need her?) Bo lets the handmaiden go. She lays out a dress in which Bo will look ravishing and gives her an invitation to dinner with Rainer. She says they all need Bo.
Lauren examines the pearl. She asks, “Has Bo called, pool boy?” Nope, not yet. Lauren says the pearl is actually a crystallized salt deposit, which makes Dyson all upset. “We should never have taken this case. Kenzi, you need to get out of there!” Lauren and Kenzi ask, why, what is it? Dyson answers, “Mermaids.” Mermaids are the absolute worst!
Kenzi gets excited because of Darryl Hannah movies, but Dyson says mermaids are the psychopaths of the sea. Kenzi wants to stay and fight the mermaid.
Bo goes to dinner (in her regular ravishing leather, not in the ravishing dress the handmaiden brought). She sticks her knife in the roast and is not making friendly gestures toward Rainer. He again says he didn’t bring her there. He puts the knife to her throat and says, “You are not going to change anything.”
Bo steps back and her eyes go blue. Rainer’s interested in that. He smiles and wants to know what the dark fae devour these days. Bo says she’s unaligned. That’s impossible, says Rainer.
Bo says, “What kind of Fae are you? Some kind of memory wiper?”
He holds up a Wanderer card. “Memory is not my power. It’s my curse.” She walks out on dinner with a to-go plate. Rainer’s plate.
Kenzi tries her luck with Tad in her quest to save the world from mermaids. Guess what? Tad’s legless, too. He loves Darren because he saved him from something that took his legs. He leaves for a meeting. She digs through his file cabinet and finds a folder full of “creeper mail.”
Rainer plays the organ in Bo’s room. (An organ with a keyboard. You know. For music. We don’t get to the other organ until later on.)
Bo interrupts him and he tells her his power was foresight in battle. He could see his opponents attacks before they happened. He says he put it to good use trying to end light and dark. Wow, that gets Bo’s attention. He says he’s seen slaughters over light and dark and tyrannical rule on the rise. Bo wants to know whose rule? Nobody mentions the Blood King, but she has to be thinking it.
She’s looking at him sympathetically. I think he just reeled her in. He talks about not being able to remember why he’s there and who cursed him. She says, “It’s torture. It’s not living.”
Kenzi’s snooping around in the room full of floating legs again.
Darren (Brandon Firla) enters and does some magic by waving his hand at Kenzi. It makes her bork up what looks like plain water. He finally lets her stop barfing water and digs through her purse, where he sees the creeper mail. The mail is from his sister and contains pearls. Translation: she’s going to kill him.
Kenzi’s figured out Darren is a merman. Tad was his first set of donor legs. His sister Dominique took off Diana’s legs but she doesn’t know how to attach them to herself. He asks her to take him to Diana. He talks about needing legs to be part of a world he doesn’t belong in. Kenzi can grok that.
Dominique will have to be captured in water.
Lauren takes off a thick terry robe and steps in the salt water pool. Yes, Lauren in a swim suit. 10,000 photos of this moment are available on Twitter and Tumblr, so I’m skipping to the action.
Lauren wades out into the pool and waits to have her legs bitten off. Dyson lurks nearby ready to snare a big fish. There’s a disturbance in the water, Dyson says, “Now,” and Lauren pushes the button on a device in her hand.
The device sets the fish to flopping and Lauren’s legs are saved. Thank goodness.
The train conductor announces the next stop will be in two minutes as Bo steps into a baggage car. She goes up to a glass bell jar. Inside is something that takes her all the way back to her childhood when she found a blue butterfly.
We see young Bo (Sadie Alter), a tear streaming down her face as she holds the butterfly. Adult Bo has a matching tear as she remembers.
Bo removes the glass covering and picks up the butterfly. Rainer says, “What did you do?”
“When I was seven . . . ” but Bo doesn’t finish the sentence because Rainer takes her hand. He says, “It is you.”
The butterfly flits away. Bo turns and looks at Rainer. It’s Bo’s I want you right now look, which can only mean trouble if you ask me. She says, “What’s this? Us?” He pushes her away because she’s going to miss her stop.
He turns back to the empty butterfly container and yells, looks frustrated and angry. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
Bo comes back and plants a big lip lock on Rainer. She says, “What am I doing?” Then she does it again. What IS she doing? Your guess is as good as mine.
Lauren looks at the mermaid and says, “God, she’s beautiful.” Brings back happy memories, that remark.
Dominique the mermaid (Kate Todd) wants legs. Wants to walk. Lauren tells her it’s wrong, she’s hurting people. She says she needs legs to get to her brother, Darren. He didn’t come home like he was supposed to. She says, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be ignored? To be locked out by someone you love?”
Lauren and Dyson both can grok that.
A tear from the mermaid’s eye forms into a pearl. She’s been sending them to Darren. That’s her 18th, which means she’s suffered enough to kill someone. But she won’t kill Darren. Her sister, on the other hand, she’d love to kill. Her sister’s a liar so that’s why she took her human walking sticks.
About the time Dyson and Lauren learn that Dominique has a sister whose legs she snatched, Kenzi touches Diana and discovers what a cold fish she is. Well, damn, she’s not a pixie. Nope, another mermaid. This mermaid thinks Kenzi is her new bottom half and brother Darren is there to help make it happen.
Darren prepares to sever Kenzi’s legs as Dyson and Lauren show up with Dominique.
Dyson’s wolf lunge for Darren is interrupted by the mermaid magic that makes Dyson toss his last drink of water. Pisses Lauren off, it does. Lauren has the scientific presence of mind to notice that the plant from the swimming pool is dying in a beaker of tap water near the sink.
The whole family is together. Darren proposes a plan that will keep them together.
They’ll all get legs and live happily ever after. Nothing can stop them. Except tap water. Lauren gives them a huge drenching with plain old tap water. Take that, fish faces.
Bo and Rainer are in bed, smiling, happy, laughing about how many stops of the train Bo has missed while boinking Rainer. She says, “Are my friends still safe?”
He says, “Kenzi and Dyson are coming close to finding the compass. When they do, you won’t remember me.”
“Screw your curse,” Bo says. “Everything’s ready.”
They sit up in the bed and review Bo’s plan to come back to release Rainer from his curse. The opera singer, Hugen in a jar, and the biggest clue of all – Bo signing a contract with the dark. She asks him to witness it. She knows that she would never align herself and finding out she’s dark will lead her to find the answers, to him.
“What if I’m a monster?” he says. She answers, “Then I’ll kill you myself.”
Bo puts her hand on his chest. He puts his hand on her chest. There’s dramatic music and gasping and light coursing through Rainer’s arm.
A fast rewind through Bo waking up on the train, jumping off, running through the woods, getting her agreement to be dark from the Archivist.
We are back in the present. The Una Mens receive a surprise visit from Bo and Rainer.
He tosses a Wanderer card at The Keeper (Christine Horne). She makes it disintegrate. Rainer’s Fae powers are restored when the card burns. He foresees her attack. The Keeper says he was cursed because he had too much power as a rebel. For helping him, The Keeper tells Bo they will kill the claimed human, the doctor, the wolf, the siren and everyone she loves. Then they will kill her.
The Keeper orders the Una Mens to attack.
Bo and Rainer take fighting positions back to back. He tells her when to duck, when to kick, when to block and together they battle the Una Mens.
Lauren, Kenzi and Dyson mop up all that’s left of the mermaid family after their demise by tap water. Lauren says, “We make an excellent team.” Kenzi checks her phone and says, “Bo never called. What are they even doing?”
Well, Kenzi, to answer your question, Bo is running a sword through The Keeper. I’m pretty sure killing off the Una Mens is going to bring all sorts of trouble to our girl Bo. The Keeper mentioned right before Bo poked her real hard that if Bo followed Rainer she would suffer a fate even worse than her own whore of a mother’s.
We go back to Bo’s bedroom where we began the episode, where Bo and Rainer have washed off all the blood. Trick comes in.
Trick warns Bo that Rainer will ask her to slay the Una Mens. He begs her not to do it. The power will be amassed into the origin seed that was stolen from him. In the wrong hands . . .
We see the origin seed as currents of power collect in it.
Bloody fingers reach out to take the seed. Care to guess whose fingers they are? My bet is on Aife, but we have to wait to see for sure because the episode is over.
- Lots of answers, but lots of new questions. Here are a few. Is Rainer evil? Is Bo under Rainer’s spell? What will the consequences of killing the Una Mens be for Bo? What was the point of the butterfly story and how does it make Rainer think he knows who Bo is?
- I think Rainer is a monster and Bo will have to kill him. That’s her destiny.
- They do it all the time in Lost Girl: a transient character has the same problem one of the main characters has. Kenzi meets a character who wants to fit into a world where he doesn’t belong. Lauren and Dyson meet a character who has been shut out of the life of someone she loves. Bo meets a character who says he wants to bring an end to light and dark and have the Fae act as one. They made especially heavy use of it in this episode.
- The light on the train was amazing. Desaturated to almost black and white and much less shadowy than elsewhere. Beautiful.
- Rainer is more disruptive than the invention of the smart phone. Everyone with a favorite couple – be it Bo and Lauren or Bo and Dyson or even Bo and Tamsin – will need couples therapy if this keeps up.
- It was fun watching Kenzi, Lauren and Dyson go all Bob Newhart and talk to themselves in empty rooms because they were supposed to be connected by some kind of ear technology.
- My bet’s on Aife to harness the collected power of the Una Mens in the origin seed. Rainer complained about “another brunette,” The Keeper mentioned her to Bo, the fingers reaching for the seed look female, and Aife hasn’t been heard from since episode 1 of this season. Aife and Rainer may know each other. Rainer assumed that a succubus is dark Fae. Do you have a better idea?
- Pop culture references are everywhere in this episode. Some I didn’t mention above were references to George Michael, Working Girl, Sigourney Weaver and Alien, the game Risk, celebrities stalked in Whole Foods parking lots and more.
Saw a tweet from Zoie Palmer about this trailer and thought it was worth sharing. A lot of familiar faces in this comedy, plus it looks really funny.
The difficulty for those of us in the U.S. is that I don’t know where it’s playing. It’s been on the festival circuit in Canada, Australia and the U.S., but I’m not sure about release in theaters. According to the Sex After Kids website, it has shown in some U.S. theaters, but they don’t have a 2014 calendar update (or didn’t on the day I looked.)
Follow @SexAfterKids on Twitter for updates such as this one:
SEX AFTER KIDS starts its Canadian theatrical run in Toronto on February 7th, 2014! We’ll have a new trailer and details on Q&As soon. 🙂
— Sex After Kids (@SexAfterKids) December 22, 2013
In this episode of Lost Girl, we are through worrying about Bo’s memory for a while. In “La Fae Époque,” Bo goes into Dyson’s memory.
We begin with a frantic Bo (Anna Silk) and Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) dragging a monk into the police station for Hale (K.C. Collins) to interrogate because Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) is lost.
You read that right. Now Dyson is lost. Well, technically, the Una Mens have him.
Bo tries charming the monk into spilling, but there’s no glow. Must be a eunuch. She wants to know why the Una Mens only took Dyson when they were both breaking Fae laws by consorting with each other while naked. Hale nails him with a siren song. The monk caves immediately and tells them Dyson will be executed for treason for killing both Fae and human in 1899. Bo says, nope, that doesn’t sound like Dyson at all.
The monk utters some Latin and dies, giving Kenzi a chance to quip about dead languages.
The Una Mens with their one speaking character, The Keeper (Christine Horne) mutter some Latin themselves, which results in a gagantic knife being plunged into a woman in a cell; the Scavenger is no more.
Behind the cell, Dyson is chained to the ceiling. Naked. (No full monty, sorry. That damn gargoyle is in the way.)
Lauren (Zoie Palmer) and Bo talk about how much time they have to save Dyson. Lauren is rigging up Bo with electrodes. Lauren wants to know how they got Dyson and Bo says, “They caught us while we were . . . um.” Lauren gets what um is. The look on her face makes Bo say, “So, you and The Morrigan are getting close.”
Bo’s not jealous, she merely wants to use all that dark Fae equipment to save Dyson. Lauren claims she doesn’t ask – she just takes: Think dark to be dark.
Lauren continues sticking electrodes on Bo, finally putting one near her heart. Bo says, “Oh, hello,” and smiles. Lauren is sorry for the cleavage contact – so she claims – but Bo tells her not to be.
The science with subtext is interrupted by Cassie (Vanessa Matsui), the Oracle we met a couple of seasons ago, who waits impatiently. She’s rigged up with electrodes, too.
Cassie has to get Bo into Dyson’s memory so Bo can prove he’s innocent. Cassie says, “I thought you were going to ask me to look inside the gaping black hole in your memory.” Bo looks at her like, hey, could you? Cassie says, “Impossible, even for me.”
Cassie is disappointed with Bo. When she read her years ago, she thought Bo was the one who would lead the Fae into a new era.
Bo gets warned that even though she’ll be inside Dyson’s memory, she’s going to see things from her own perspective, too. Lauren steps up with a red string. Cassie says, “The red string of fate. You might as well lobotomize Bo right now.” Lauren insists it’s the only way. She wraps one around Cassie’s ankle and one around Bo’s ankle so it can secure Cassie’s connection to Bo and Bo’s connection to Dyson.
Cassie warns Bo that she could be in a straight jacket when she comes out of this but Bo is sure, and would, in fact, do the same for Lauren.
Dyson meanwhile is undergoing some kind of ritual cleansing that involves scrubbing down his bare body. Kenzi disguised herself and joined the Una Mens long enough to help with the scrubbing. Kenzi is carefully behind him or she might have been the one who got the full monty. Anyhoo, it gives her a chance to tie a red string to his ankle.
As soon as Kenzi gets the red string on Dyson, everything goes a little crazy.
Bo’s inside Dyson’s head. Most of the time we see Bo acting out Dyson’s life, unless Bo looks in a mirror, in which case we see Dyson.
Dyson/Bo is in bed with two lovelies. Their father enters in a rage and Dyson/Bo flees by shifting. We see a wolf in the street, who shifts into Bo’s form. Dyson/Bo steals some clothing – some badly fitting clothing – and heads off, stopping only to admire how ruggedly handsome she is in a shop window.
Dyson/Bo grabs a newspaper and sees an ad for Cabaret du Ceil starring Flora Blooms. Two guys start chasing her. Turns out it’s the mad papa.
They battle in an alleyway and Trick appears, beaning them both with a stick.
“A bowstaff,” says Dyson/Bo. She doesn’t know who he is, but he says, “Follow me if you want sanctuary.”
Trick sits Yoda-like in his sanctuary and tells Dyson/Bo, “You’re capable of more. Of good.”
Dyson/Bo goes, but Trick/Yoda calls him back with, “The helskór. The ancient hell shoes sought after by the most powerful Fae, including the one who wanders.”
Dyson/Bo says he’s heard of them. They can only be worn by “a worthy hero.”
A prince has them and is selling them to the highest bidder. Trick wants Dyson/Bo to get them. Trick introduces himself to Dyson/Bo with his full name, and Dyson/Bo calls him Trick instead. The birth of a nickname.
Back in the reality of the bedroom where Bo and Cassie are wired up, Bo mutters things like shoes, boobs. Lauren is glad Dyson was an intellectual. Then Bo mutters hell shoes, bowstaff, trick. Lauren thinks its a non sequitur party and they’re all invited. She tries talking to Bo, which is silly because Bo is off in Dysonland. Bo says he who wanders and Lauren gets excited but Bo smiles and goes back to muttering boobs.
Dyson/Bo enters Cabaret du Ceil. Kenzi, speaking with a French accent and dressed up in a skimpy outfit, blonde curls, and white wings, greets her at the door. In the Bo version of Dyson’s memory, Kenzi’s the bartender, Angel. She serves Dyson/Bo a drink.
Bartender/Kenzi flirts with Dyson/Bo. It’s a world outside of time where dreams come true. Dyson/Bo spots a familiar dude in the cabaret.
Yes, it’s Vex (Paul Amos), who just for tonight gets to be a prince. Dyson/Bo also spots a man in modern garb – a red nylon windbreaker and baseball cap – who will appear and reappear several times in the next few scenes.
Bartender/Kenzi reveals in her flirtatious French accent that the main attraction doesn’t attract the crowds she used to. Bartender/Kenzi then mounts the bar, strolls across it with her Betty Grable legs, and announces the evening’s entertainment, Mademoiselle Flora Blooms.
Mademoiselle Flora Blooms sings a french tune, works the audience, tickles the prince’s beard. To Bo-as-Dyson, this charmer is Lauren.
Zoie Palmer is singing. In French. She’s got a little of that Edith Piaf vibrato going. It’s fabulous, I tell you, fabulous. Television can never be more fabulous than this.
Dyson’s wang apparently likes it, too, because we get to laugh at Bo dealing with her first ever hard-on. Then Dyson/Bo walks out, sideways, as if propelled by an outside force, complaining all the while that Lauren/Flora isn’t done singing yet. In French.
Dyson, the real Dyson, is clean now and dressed in white. He’s in a cage. Hale pleads for his release saying that Dyson is innocent. The Una Mens says he’s guilty and won’t consider Hale’s arguments. Kenzi’s phone rings and her disguise is blown. The Keeper is not happy to discover a human lurking about and says that Kenzi will be executed with the wolf.
In Lauren/Flora’s dressing room, Dyson/Bo enters. There’s a kind of crazy ballet next. First Lauren/Flora threatens Dyson/Bo with a knife. Then she kisses her. Then she slaps her.
Lauren/Flora complains that it’s been weeks. Dyson/Bo says, “You care?” Lauren/Flora answers that she does not and he needs to leave. Dyson/Bo kisses Lauren/Flora again.
Let’s talk about Zoie Palmer’s voice for this character. It’s pitched about 2 octaves above her normal speaking voice into French coquette territory. It’s hilarious.
Dyson/Bo talks about the prince and the helskór. Lauren/Flora wants to sell them for a fortune. She talks about what she could do with all that loot if they get the shoes. Lauren/Flora is willing to share a perk with Dyson/Bo for the tip.
Back to the French ballet.
There’s sex, which we see from both Bo’s head, and – in a mirror – from Dyson’s head. Even in the mirror, Bo sees Lauren and not Flora – confusing, but go with it. In case you wanted to see Lauren and Dyson together, there it is. And if you were longing for a threesome with Bo, Lauren and Dyson, this is almost it. Almost. If the idea of Lauren with Dyson makes you cringe, I apologize for this screen shot and hope you can erase it from your mind forever with an image of Lauren with Bo.
Bo likes her super stud self as she thrusts away. She watches in the mirror and says, “So this is happening. For investigative purposes, right?”
Then the most confusing part of the entire scene happens. The camera turns away from the mirror, so according to the rules set up so far in this plotline, we should see Bo and Lauren. But we don’t. We still see Dyson and Lauren. What the hell did the writers mean by that?
In the real bedroom where Bo is wired to electrodes, Lauren watches and wonders what Bo is seeing in there. Bo says Lauren and moans out an orgasm. Lauren smiles and says, “Even in Dyson’s subconscious you’re thinking of me. Score one for the doctor.” Then she looks grossed out and horrified and says, “Unless that’s Dyson talking.”
Cassie begins counting backwards from 100, which can’t be good.
A knock on Lauren/Flora’s door interrupts the love fest. It is the prince.
Lauren/Flora scoots Dyson/Bo out the back way.
In comes the prince with a shoebox, which Lauren/Flora quickly relieves him of. His accent is execrable! To be honest, Lauren and Kenzi aren’t doing too well with the accents either, but I think this one from Vex/Prince is more deliberate.
She kisses him. Blindfolds him. Does things with her mouth to his neck and ears while digging in the box for the hell shoes. They are ugly woven flats – hell must refer their style. They are not red, which they really should be, because, as we learn in a bit, once you get them on you cannot get them off.
Vex/Prince gets upset when he realizes she’s after the shoes. Dyson/Bo took the intervening time to get dressed and comes in to punch out poor Vex/Prince with a right hook.
Dyson/Bo puts the shoes on Lauren/Flora. Lauren/Flora immediately gets crazy eyes. (Apologies to Orange is the New Black, but she does get crazy eyes.) She says she’s been denied, the shoes are not intended for her. Dyson/Bo tries to get them off but cannot. A kick in the face for Dyson/Bo and off glides Lauren/Flora.
With Dyson and Kenzi in the clink, Dyson says he’s impressed Kenzi got in there. He wants to start training her as soon as they get out. He can feel Bo in his memory. Kenzi asks if he really murdered someone. He says, “It’s a long story and it starts with a pair of shoes.”
Back in memoryland, Dyson/Bo follows a trail of dead people that Lauren/Flora left in her wake as she ran off. She says, “Flora did all this, why is Dyson being blamed?”
Cassie appears in the dreamland where Bo is Dyson. She tells Bo to cut the string. The modern guy in the red windbreaker walks past them. Cassie says Bo has lasted longer in someone’s memory than she’s ever seen, but she needs to get out now. Cassie says, “You’re brave. And something else. Something new.” She pulls off her red string and backs away counting down from 10.
When Cassie gets to 1, she wakes up, unhooks herself from all the electrodes, and tells Lauren to get the straight jacket ready for Bo because she stayed behind. She mentions shoes. Lauren says, “What shoes.” Bo mutters so much blood.
Dyson/Bo catches up with Lauren/Flora, who is kneeling over a kill. She has Freddie Kruger knuckes and says she can’t stop killing. Lauren/Flora attacks Dyson/Bo and we get to savor a lot of kick ass pushing, kicking, hitting and struggling between Bo and Lauren.
Dyson/Bo goes wolf on her.
Lauren/Flora maintains her French accent and Betty Boop voice throughout this entire fight scene. Finally Lauren/Flora comes back to herself a bit, says, “What have I done?”
Dyson/Bo tells her its the shoes and tries again to get them off. Dyson/Bo says, “I’ll fix it.” Typical Dyson.
Dyson/Bo says, “I love you.” Lauren/Flora says, “No, your love hasn’t come yet. And when she does, she will . . . ” This sentence doesn’t get finished, because someone shoots Lauren/Flora in the back. Was the prophecy from Flora to Dyson, or is it from Lauren to Bo? It could be either.
In the real world, Lauren tries to get Bo to wake up. She almost removes Bo’s red string. Instead she puts a red string on herself and says, “I’m coming in.”
Back in Dyson’s memory land, the shoes are off. The dude who shot Lauren/Flora tosses his pistol on top of them.
They will think you killed all these people, he tells Dyson/Bo. He wants the shoes. He tells Dyson/Bo to run like he’s always done. Calls him a waste of flesh. Tells him it’s all his fault.
Back in their cage, Dyson explains to Kenzi that he felt guilty because he was the one who made Flora put on the shoes and he almost did run. Finally, however, just as he told the guy he’d have to fight him for the shoes, Trick knocks him out with his bow broomstick.
That’s twice Trick saved Dyson in one day. Not to mention that Lauren and Bo are in the process of saving him once again in the real world outside memoryland.
Trick doesn’t want the shoes. He wants a second for the new world – a Fae colony that will live in peace. He invites Dyson to his prayer room before dawn to talk about it.
Dyson and Kenzi talk about how they thought they would die.
Kenzi has faith that Bo will show up in time to save them. The Una Mens walks in spouting Latin and says, speak your last words. Kenzi says, “Oh, god. Oh, god,” which the Una Mens consider Dyson’s last words. Oops.
Dyson tells them he will give them the hell shoes if they release the human. He has one in his possession and will give them the location of the second as soon as they release her.
Back in dreamland, Dyson/Bo has buried Flora. Lauren enters the scene and Dyson/Bo says, “It’s not you.” Lauren tells her she’s getting confused. The guy in the red windbreaker shows up with a huge version of Dyson’s champion belt. Lauren tells her to cut the red string, that Dyson needs her.
She looks down and has the belt in her hands. She figures out the message. She removes the red string.
Back in reality now, Bo jerks up on the bed. Lauren is still off in memoryland. Bo sees Don’t cut the red string written on the mirror in lipstick. How will she get Lauren out of there?
With a kiss, of course. True love’s kiss. Solves all sorts of sleeping disorders. Lauren comes out of it.
There’s another kiss just to say hello, and Bo smiles. She knows what to do.
Bo shows up with one of the helskór. It was inside Dyson’s framed championship belt, wrapped in a jock strap.
A guy in a mask says the magic Latin. Bo says, “You,” and removes the mask. It’s the guy who shot Lauren/Flora in the back. Which means the Una Mens knew all along that Dyson was innocent because they sent mask-face to get the shoes years ago.
The Keeper says, “She is more than we expected.”
“I’m glad you finally got the memo,” Bo answers.
Bo, Lauren, Kenzi, Hale and Dyson plant themselves at the bar in the Dal. They are eating hot dogs and happy to be all together again.
Even though Lauren is sitting right there, Dyson says, “That was intimate. You in me for once.” Bo says their minds work well together. I’m not sure if all their meaningful glances made Lauren uncomfortable, but I got a little nervous myself.
Bo mentions that she felt the red string tied her, Lauren and Dyson all together, although Lauren points out that it was meant to tie only two people together. Maybe a bit of foreshadowing that the not-quite-a-threesome scene might be something Bo actually wants to make real?
Kenzi asks what Dyson did after he buried Flora.
Dyson says he went to Trick’s prayer room and pledged fealty to the Blood King. Dyson thinks Trick is the true savior.
Bo disagrees. He’s done nothing for her lately. Dyson says, “He doesn’t know about the mark on your chest.” Lauren wants to know about this mark but Bo dismisses her question for now. “He is the Blood King. He is my grandfather. Why hasn’t he helped me figure out who took me?”
I’m with Bo on this. Trick’s secrets have been a serious impediment to her and I don’t blame her for being unhappy with him.
Bo says, “I need to find The Wanderer. Find out why he took me. Why I’m dark.”
Lauren asks how. Bo says, “Something he wants. Something he has always wanted.” She asks Dyson where the second shoe is. He gave it to Angel, the bartender, who is hiding it until the true hero comes for it.
Bo says, “We’re all done waiting. Cause here I come.”
- In case you aren’t familiar with the fairy tale about the red shoes, here’s the Wikipedia article. For more on the red string of fate or the red string of destiny, Wikipedia has the info once again.
- Helskór, also know as hel-shoes, were put on the dead so they could go to Valhalla, according to Wikipedia.
- Fairy tale references littered this episode. Myths, fairy tales, what’s the diff, eh? There were a couple of movie shout outs as well. Acknowledge your genre and it’s forebearers and fans everywhere will embrace your efforts.
- We’ve now seen every possible sexual exchange (of at least kissing) among the characters available. Well, Tamsin and Hale still have a couple of available options. Will they ever stop and let anyone settle down to a single partner. I really doubt it.
- Tamsin is gone more than here. Come on, people. We want the full cast in action in each episode.
- Here’s a little present from Ksenia Solo:
— Ksenia Solo (@KseniaSolo) December 23, 2013
We begin this episode of Lost Girl back in the conversation in which The Keeper (Christine Horne) tells Bo (Anna Silk) her blood has spoken and she’s dark.
Bo calls bullshit on The Keeper, but, alas, the gargoyle read her blood when he took that chunk out of her arm. Bo wants to know how something so momentous could happen without her approval. Seems it’s a mystery for her and whoever led the dark recently – that would be Vex (Paul Amos). The Keeper tells Bo to leave. Bo says, “If anyone’s taking a leave, it’s you and your circle jerk of doom.” She planned this as her grand exit remark, but The Keeper adds, “If you see the human doctor or that terrorist pet of yours, tell them we will see them soon. Their deaths will be most painful.”
Bo tries sucking the chi from everyone in the room, but as soon as she does it goes right back where it came from and Bo collapses on the floor.
Bo’s current choices are, 1) Pay fealty to the leader of the dark Fae, or 2) die. I hate it when The Keeper gets in the last word.
Bo and Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) go to some joint where the purpose of the place is either to make a whole lot of 69 jokes or else let Bo fill up on sexual chi.
I’ve said for 4 seasons that Bo needs a place she can pop in on her way home, a place away from her love life, to fill up on sex. A gym full of Amazons, or a biker bar full of dudes in leather jackets. A place to service her needs. All of a sudden such a place appears, serving up just what Bo craves. Welcome to Club 69. Take a number.
Once Bo’s recharged the old double D’s – her batteries, you silly – she blames her current problem on The Wanderer. She’s ready to find him and plans to use Vex to help her.
Kenzi thinks maybe Dyson could help, but he’s still off somewhere searching for Lauren (Zoie Palmer).
Dyson isn’t the only person MIA in this episode: Hale is missing, too. Every episode so far in season 4 has had missing persons. Is this a meaningful statement on the “lostness” of everyone in season 4, or is it budget cuts?
Bo and Kenzi storm The Morrigan’s place to discover that Evony (Emanuelle Vaugier) is back and très happy that Bo has joined the dark Fae. Since Bo thought Evony was dead, she is a bit surprised finding her here. Bo says she’s having her dark conversion annulled as soon as she gets Vex.
The Morrigan invites them to a dark Fae party. The Morrigan says Bo can get out of being dark Fae if she shows proof she was tricked before the next full moon – which is that night.
Trick (Rick Howland) promises to do dinner with someone on the phone if they will get him intel on The Wanderer. When he hangs up the phone, he looks at a pulsating seed or nut thingy. Whatever it is, it requires worrisome music as it pulsates. Trick locks it in his vault.
A man appears out of the dark to tell Trick he’s been summoned by the Una Mens for an inquisition on his life.
Kenzi, Bo, and Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) arrive at the dark Fae party. Kenzi goes straight for the food and booze. Evony offers Bo a human to feed on. Bo sends the human and her human friends packing. Evony finds Bo’s refusal to feed off the human lame. She argues that at least the dark Fae are honest about what they do, unlike the light Fae who pretend they are better than the dark.
Evony shepherds Bo outside where they continue to argue about whether or not Bo is going to stay dark and be loyal to The Morrigan. The Morrigan repeats the story that Vex is who they both need to find. The Morrigan is “giving her every resource” to find him. To prove what a good friend she is now, Evony turns Bo around to see this.
Lauren walks across a grassy field, looking so gorgeous it’s likes she’s a Valentine’s Day commercial.
Bo smiles as Lauren walks closer in slo-mo. As Bo watches this heavenly creature approach, she frowns slightly – maybe things aren’t entirely perfect in the situation.
While the Bo and Lauren reunion is going on, Trick is before The Keeper for his inquisition. We learn the story of the Una Mens. When the Blood King became corrupt, a council was made of members willing to sacrifice their individual flaws to form a single soul without ego or ambition. The Blood King agreed, then betrayed the Una Mens. The deal involved every one of the six council members swallowing a seed of the sacred papyrus plant to be blessed as a single vessel of humility and justice. The king stole his seed and vanished. (Hey, Keeper, I think Trick has it in his vault.)
The Keeper says if the Blood King swallows the sacred seed, he can be unchallenged and take his place among them. Trick likes the unchallenged part of her remarks.
Bo and Lauren find a quiet room at the party, where they say they have a lot to talk about but can’t stop kissing long enough to say much or eat the quiche a waiter offers. Bo, in her new none-too-tender way, is ready to rip Lauren’s dress off her right there at the party. Lauren doesn’t seem offended, she only wants more kisses.
Kenzi and Tamsin are filling plates off a table covered with 9000 kinds of food, when Kenzi picks up some sushi and discovers Bruce under it. The sushi table is actually Bruce (Ron Archer). Kenzi calls him brushi.
He says it’s his punishment. He’s shirtless (hey, someone’s gotta do it – Dyson’s not here) and Kenzi pulls a tablecloth off a nearby table to wrap around him. The bride and groom whose party this is lay dead under the table, but Kenzi is more interested in Bruce. Bruce, however, feels bad because they read their vows in iambic pentameter – so lovely.
Bo and Lauren continue kissing as fast as they can. Lauren says, “Bo, I’m so glad you’re here.” She pauses, “Why are you here?” Equally interesting but unasked by Bo: why is Lauren here?
“Vex worked with The Wanderer to turn me dark.” You’re dark? asks Lauren. Lauren says she’s hiding from the Una Mens. That does not sound right – the Una Mens isn’t who had her captive in the last episode, even though they threatened Bo with Lauren’s name. Bo and Lauren promise to tell each other everything, but instead start kissing again.
Evony comes and and goes back to business. She wants a blood oath that Bo will bring Vex to her. In exchange, she offers the means to find him.
In walks Pietra (Samantha Espie) who is super pumped to be going on an adventure with Bo as one of “Evony’s Angels.” Evony explains that Bo also needs a certain drug that only you-know-who can provide to make Vex compliant. Evony leaves with the Scavenger and tells Bo and Lauren they have a few minutes to collect themselves.
Not much time, says Lauren. Bo figures waste not, want not, and grabs Lauren for another kiss.
Bo, Lauren and Pietra take off in the dead bride and groom’s limo to search for Vex. A Just Married sign and a string of cans decorate the back. Pietra does some scavenging and comes back with a huge knife.
The knife is the key to Vex being able to cut out some poison which prevents him from leaving town. Vex is expecting Pietra to bring him the knife.
Bruce, still shirtless, but not for long so enjoy it while you can, tells Kenzi he can be saved if another Fae masters him until his punishment is fulfilled. Kenzi immediately tells Tamsin, who is, what – 3 weeks old by now – to master Bruce.
Tamsin grabs a mic from the D.J. (so convenient there’s a D.J. at this party) and says she’s gonna master all over the big guy, Bruce.
Wait one sec. You can’t just declare yourself a master. You have to duel for it with the current master. Evony calls out the “dualist.”
The dualist is a bad ass chick that isn’t going to take any shit off of anyone. Unfortunately she doesn’t have any lines, so I can’t find a credit for her name. Just call her Awesome Personified for now.
On the street where Pietra is attempting to attract the attention of Vex by marching about with the big knife, Lauren gives Bo a syringe full of Socrates’ own hallucinogenic for subduing Vex.
Bo wants to talk because they could be there a while. She wants to know about their break, about Taft, about who Karen is. The heart-to-heart is interrupted when a tall blonde who looks like she’s auditioning for a part as a walker on The Walking Dead stumbles up and snatches the big knife. Clearly, Vex’s mesmering at work. Bo takes off after the walker.
She finds Vex in a warehouse. She tells him he and The Wanderer are going to undo making her dark Fae. He says he knows nothing about a Wanderer but legends. She intends to haul him back to the Morrigan.
Through a misshap with the girl who was on her way to The Walking Dead, Vex shoots the drug into Bo. We see that Vex’s hand is seriously messed up. We also see that Vex’s messed up hand looks something like a glimpse of arm we saw in episode 4 when Lauren’s captor revealed himself.
Bo wakes on a bed, paralyzed. Vex is boiling up something to help him with some surgery.
He must cut off his hand with the giant knife in order to save his own life. He’s the last mesmer and not about to go quietly into that good night. Bo urges Vex not to amputate his own hand. Lauren didn’t do a full amputation – just a break. Now they are back together again and Bo is humming heart happy songs.
Vex is annoyed by her happy heart and ready to cut off his right hand, Ginger, because he’ll still be able to dance with Fred, his left hand. Most guys name their junk, but not Vex.
At the party Evony flips a coin and Tamsin gets to pick the weapons for the duel over Bruce. She chooses to dance. Lucky us, there is a D.J. handy to spin some tunes.
Dance to the death commences. Tamsin’s been getting lessons from Kenzi, but she’s pretty terrible, although I judged her twerking improved.
Awesome Personified, however, is awesome, and clearly going to win the battle to remain the master of Bruce.
But wait, Tamsin has a secret weapon.
Tamsin goes skeletor on the dualist and kills her right there. One way to dance to the death, I guess. Tamsin’s a bit surprised and upset by her Valkyrie powers but the Morrigan says, “Well done, our little blooming warrior princess.”
Back at the warehouse, Bo regains some movement. Vex drinks the stuff he’s been brewing and THWACK, he chops off the hand just as Bo is able to get off the bed.
Oh, gross. She picks up the hand. Don’t mesmers bleed?
Vex uncovers a red sports car that looks like it should belong to Agent Colson on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and which he will now have trouble driving. The missing hand, you know.
Bo chases after him and learns that she should have been talking to The Morrigan’s archivist if she wanted answers. Bo realizes The Morrigan played her. Vex wants her to “take the stick” if he takes the clutch and together they can drive off in the hot red sports car.
We miss the whole car driving experience and go straight to The Morrigan’s office for the next scene. Bo gives Evony the hand in a bag of ice, but Evony wants ALL of Vex to get rid of the Una Mens. Bo says she won’t let him be tortured. Evony says okay, if Bo agrees to be responsible for him. She says fine, so now Bo is babysitting Vex again.
Bo says, “Archivist. Now.” The Morrigan says, “Oh, you figured it out.”
The archivist (Clint Butler) enters and pulls a layer of skin off his bald head. Any pledge to the dark shows up there. He hands the flap of skin to Bo. The Morrigan, peaking over her shoulder, says, “There’s your signature. And there’s your sponsor.”
Bo reads from the flap of skin, “Who’s Raynor?”
Evony hasn’t a clue. Bo wants her to tear it up because she obviously had nothing to do with the agreement. Evony says it’s a binding agreement and the only person who can change it is her sponsor.
Bo snatches Vex’s hand back. Lauren walks in. Evony conveniently leaves her own office so Bo and Lauren can share doleful eye contact.
Cut to the Dungeon. The Keeper is still questioning Trick. She offers him the job of The Ash. He wants it.
Bo wants to take Lauren back to her place to share a giant claw-footed bathtub.
Lauren makes one of those awful speeches she does periodically when she’s protecting someone. (Speaking of Crystal, where do you think she is?) She says she can’t go back with the light. The light never looked for her, but the dark offered her protection. No one else came. With the dark she can come and go as she pleases. Lauren says, I feel free. Bo says, I could free you.
Lauren says, How? Bo says I could claim you. Lauren thinks that’s not freedom.
Lauren pats Bo’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, Bo. Now that you’re dark, I’ll see you around.” I’ll see you around? What is Lauren doing?
Maybe Bo recognizes that Lauren’s speech closely resembles the cover story speech she delivered at Taft’s lab, because she says, “When you’re ready to come back to your real family, let me know.” Even so, Bo looks crushed as she leaves. No happy heart songs now.
Kenzi and Bruce talk in Kenzi’s bedroom. (Kenzi’s bedroom again. Hello room.) She tells him he’s free and he should spread his wings and fly. Tamsin, who is pretending to sleep nearby, smiles at this suggestion. I wonder, can Valkyries fly?
Bo brings Vex’s hand in a copper bucket of ice to the Dal. A drink and a talk with Trick at the Dal is the closest Bo has come to doing something normal since she’s been back. He tells her he’s been named the acting Ash. They drink to how odd it is that Trick is the head of the light and Bo is the darling of the dark.
She asks about Raynor. Trick says they need to look in the King’s book of records.
There’s a rush of dramatic music and we see something spilled on the floor but I cannot tell what it is. Maybe the empty container that once held that pulsing seed?
The Archivist enters the dungeon where he gives the succubus declaration, AKA the hunk of skin from his bald head, to The Keeper. She looks at it and opens a big book.
She looks for the name Raynor. When she finds it the letters go all squiggly. She says, “No. It cannot be. Never again.”
“The Wanderer” plays as the credits roll.
- The Bo and Lauren reunion is less than perfect, I suspect because Lauren is once again, for the millionth time, doing something she doesn’t want to do because someone she cares about is in danger. If I’m right, that may mean Ali Liebert isn’t finished with Lost Girl yet.
- The name Raynor comes from a root word that means king or leader. In Norse the meaning of the name Raynor is warrior from the gods. I’m thinking that means The Wanderer. The music at the end was a big clue, but the name tipped me off long before the final credits.
- I’m not convinced that Vex is the guy who was holding Lauren and Crystal in episode 4. It didn’t sound like Vex on the speaker. Why would Vex call her Karen? But the hand looked wonky like Vex’s hand. Who else could it be and how did Lauren get delivered to The Morrigan?
- Since Bo can be healed by sexual chi, I’ve indulged in wishful thinking that the cruel, not-our-regular Bo we’ve seen in the previous episodes this season would be healed by Lauren’s return. Healing love, don’t you know. It almost seemed like that was happening, but it didn’t quite. The jury is still out on whether Bo can return to her pure heart.
A poem should not mean
– Ars Poetica by Archibald MacLeish.
This season on Lost Girl storylines just are. No transitions, no explanations, no clarifications. They are what they are. Like the poet said, we must be willing to let it be, no matter how badly our minds want to fill in the blanks.
Bo (Anna Silk) and Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) are boxing. Bo complains about being restless. Dyson says you have to lay low, they’re looking for you. Bo says, so they want to kill me – so what. Dyson says the Una Mens power is ancient. Bo points out that’s the last thing on her mind. Dyson asks if she wants to talk about that first thing on her mind.
Bo pauses, is there any word? Dyson says not lately, but it’s better if she stays away. Then he says Lauren’s smart, she can take care of herself.
Oh, now Bo remembers Lauren. As soon as we realize this new fact, Bo strips off her boxing gloves and says she might as well juice up if she has to protect herself.
She grabs Dyson by his junk and wants sex. He’s willing and they start tearing off their clothes and going at it. They’re rough about it. Not Buffy and Spike destroying a building rough, but definitely not tender.
A stone gargoyle appears. It startles them and disappears.
It’s the first of several appearances the stone boy will make, but it doesn’t distract the succubus from her sex drive for long.
At the clubhouse an older teen Tamsin (Eliana Jones) is being schooled in the art of twerking by Kenzi (Ksenia Solo). We all know that the way to escape being labeled a child is to twerk, right? Kenzi’s brushing Tamsin’s hair and comments that not a single strand came out on the brush.
Bo arrives but cannot enter because of a guard spell on the doors that flares up. Kenzi runs to fix it because “it’s only supposed to block out malicious Fae.” Can you say foreshadowing?
Kenzi gives Bo a huge hug. It’s apparently one of many, because Bo asks how long the incessant hugging is going to last.
Bo and Kenzi leave teen Tamsin at home to watch The X Files so they can go boozing at a Dal made very sad by the approach of the Una Mens. Trick is nowhere in sight, but Bo puts music on and gets everyone in the place dancing. Bo Bo is back, says Kenz.
Massimo (Tim Rozen) is at the Dal, wanting payment from Kenzi for his faux fae sparkle cream. She promises he’ll get it and lifts a jar of the stuff from his pocket while smiling into his eyes with succubus-like charm.
Back at the clubhouse, teen Tamsin gets a visit from a couple of guys in hoods and robes. She goes all skeletor on them and then bends over with a pain in her back accompanied by the sound of bones cracking. When Bo and Kenzi get home, the place is emptied out. They’ve been robbed.
They find a naked Tamsin, who is finally the grown up Rachel Skarsten we’ve been waiting for. She says, I think I grew again.
Bo and Tamsin are at the police station, reporting the robbery to Dyson.
Bo and Dyson talk about sex but because of Tamsin’s baby ears they refer to it as going shopping. It’s flirtatious and sounds like fun to Tamsin, who wants to go shopping with them. Bo jumps up with the excuse that she needs to use the facilities and dashes off, leaving Dyson stuck babysitting Tamsin.
Tamsin points to a book of mug shots where a photo of Lauren in circled in red. Who’s this? she asks. Dyson says it’s someone who’s lost and Tamsin has to help him find her.
Cut to a dark room where Crystal (Ali Liebert) is handcuffed to a pipe. She says, It’s all my fault. They told me they wouldn’t hurt you. Lauren (Zoie Palmer), who finally sports her own blonde hair, wants to know who they are.
A voice comes from a speaker. Long time no see Lauren, or should I call you Karen?
Kenzi looks for Massimo and gets thrown in a van by a couple of thugs. Bo appears and saves her. Bo says since when to you fly solo? I’m back. Kenzi says it’s my problem. She tells Bo that the problem is with Massimo and Bo gets upset that Kenzi knows him. Bo thinks Massimo sucks.
Bo and Kenzi go to Massimo’s place. Bo tells him the rune glass didn’t work, it didn’t kill her. He says, I gave it to Tamsin to mark you, to allow you to transcend planes to be collected. She wants to know who took her but he won’t say.
Bo says she wants their stuff back and then he’s going to leave Kenzi alone. He still wants payment, which he will take in the form of something that grows in Lauren’s apartment on her green wall. Bo says they will get the herb, but if he doesn’t keep his end of the bargain, she will kill him. She looks like she means it, too. What happened to all those I’m not a murderer speeches she used to make?
Back in the dark room where Lauren and Crystal are held, Crystal confesses, I slept with you to keep you close. They made me. But after I did, it was different. It was more. I’m thinking when a woman who can keep a succubus happy visits your bed, her mad skills definitely should make an impression. Is that the kind of “more” Crystal means? Nah, probably not.
Lauren nods her head. Spybanged – I’ve been here before. In your shoes, actually.
Lauren makes a confession of her own. She has a brother who’s an eco-terrorist. She made pipe bombs for him to blow up pipelines. Eleven people got killed by one of her pipe bombs. She says, not a day goes by that I don’t hate myself. She’s been running ever since. Lauren says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I never even told Bo.
The voice on the speaker wants Lauren to look under a tarp, where a drawer full of science equipment waits. If she doesn’t provide some science within an hour, Crystal dies. Is Lauren really going to have to go through this again?
At Lauren’s Kenzi looks for the right plant as she and Bo talk about Lauren. Like why did she go with Taft? Kenzi says Lauren was one of the good ones. Bo says I always thought you were on Dyson. Kenzi guiltily asks on, what do you mean on? Bo explains she means team Dyson.
Bo finds the wanted poster for Karen Beattie. She says I didn’t know Lauren at all. I don’t even know her name. Why does everyone lie to me, she asks. Except you, Kenzi, which is why I love you. Opps, goes Kenzi’s face. They try to leave with the herb but flames bar the door.
At the police station, Tamsin is helping Dyson check Lauren’s phone records. No phone calls for the last two days. She wonders if she was a good cop. She wants to know if Bo is Dyson’s girlfriend. He qualifies his answer by explaining about Lauren. What does love feel like, asks Tamsin.
At Lauren’s apartment, Bo and Kenzi discuss how to get past the flames. Kenzi says maybe it’s the Sparkle Plenty gleam cream and a shower might help, but she doesn’t want to wash her hair.
Bo solves the problem by dumping water on Kenzi’s head. At least Kenzi can get through the door now. Bo stays behind and digs through Lauren’s stuff. She finds a gift box – the card reads “For giving me the freedom to love. And I do.” Inside is a necklace.
Bo assumes the gift was for her and clutches it to her heart. Well, as close as she can get to her heart with those boobs cantilevered up so high by her engineering marvel of a bra. She looks soft and moved – the Bo we used to know before this Bo who threatens to murder people showed up.
Bam, up pops the gargoyle. Bo turns to the gargoyle but it’s gone. Who’s there? she asks. Wanderer? She tells whatever it is that she won’t be taken again. She finally catches a glimpse of the gargoyle. It’s mouth is bloody and Bo has a bite on her arm. Kenzi returns to fix the flames at the door and finds Bo with a bloody arm.
Cut to Tamsin, who is bleeding from her shoulder blades.
Kenzi bandages Bo’s arm and makes her own all-inclusive confession. She owes Massimo a lot. She’s been stealing from Trick and from Hale. She can’t get a permanent Fae power no matter how much she tries. She’s been feeling helpless and not able and a liability. She kissed Dyson. But she thinks she only really wants to kiss Hale. She’s alone.
Bo says she’s not alone, she has Bo. Kenzi says, you left me, Bo. What if you leave again? As hard as I try, I’m just not one of you. Bo says what’s going on? Of all the things I’m in the dark about, I never thought it would be you.
Dyson calls and says he’s lost Tamsin. Bo asks Kenzi what she saw of theirs at Massimo’s. Kenzi mentions her hair brush, which Bo thinks Massimo wants because of the mad value of Valkyrie hair.
Massimo shows up at the clubhouse and tells Tamsin they are friends and she is supposed to go with him. He takes her to his place where he tapes her to a chair and cuts off a hunk of hair.
Tamsin squirms about in the chair and moves her shoulders as he explains that she tried to kill Bo. That’s why Bo hates me, she says. He’s only interested in the hair.
Bo arrives to tell him not to cut a woman’s hair when she doesn’t want it. He puts his razor to Bo’s throat and we hear a powerful command, “Stop. Release,” from Tamsin.
Bo and Massimo are startled by Tamsin, who has sprouted a wing span of about 15 feet. That’s new.
In lockup, Lauren reports that the elder she’s supposed to diagnose needs to stop eating his own kind because he has “mad fae” disease. She takes off her handcuffs and chains, calling them child’s play. She doesn’t remove Crystal’s handcuffs, however. For some reason, the dude on the speaker has to do that.
Come on out, Hale, Lauren says.
A metal door clangs open, a shaft of light illuminates Lauren, and she stares in amazement. All we see is a bit of arm. You’re not Hale, she says.
At Massimo’s pad, Tamsin wants to kill him, figuring she kills because she’s dark. Plus the fact that she announces that she’s the Harbinger of Death. Bo tells her she can be whatever she want to be. Tamsin says you despise me. Bo says we fought but I never hated you. In fact I thought you were incredible.
Bo hugs Tamsin, gives her a full body shot of succubus charm. The wings retract, the murder goes out of her eyes, and Tamsin says that’s what love feels like.
Massimo says when a Valkyrie gets her wings it’s her last life. Bo accuses him of sending the gargoyles, but he says they only serve their masters.
She succubus kisses him and blurts out, you’re human! That how you got into our house.
I’m a Druid he says, you need me.
She takes the lock of Valkyrie hair. He begs for it back. He cries, saying it’s for his mommie. Bo says, mommie issues – take a number. Bo walks out and tosses the hair in a flaming cauldron. Massimo screams and jumps into the cauldron, too. Bo says no, but she smiles: cruel.
Bo’s back in boxing gloves hitting the punching bag. She tells Kenzi she’s not mad about Dyson. Bo says that Druid potion that marked her needed to be a kiss from someone who would never betray her. Kenzi says, but I did. Bo says, no. You and me found each other and we are family. We stick together even though we fight and screw up.
Forgiven and accepted, Kenzi beams.
In Kenzi’s bedroom, Dyson is telling bedtime stories to Tamsin to get her to sleep. It’s season 4 and we just now see Kenzi’s bedroom. It’s strung with twinkly lights but otherwise is so dark you can’t tell much about it, which is a problem because I want to look around. Kenzi comes in. Dyson and Kenzi talk quietly on her bed.
Dyson tells her she doesn’t have to be Fae to have a place among them. He offers to teach her how to be “more.” He tells her he’s lost Lauren and he needs to find her.
Bo walks into the dungeon where the Keeper (Christine Horne) held Vex. You have not been summoned to appear before us, the Keeper says.
Bo says, I go where I want when I want. I don’t live by your rules. Kill me if you can.
The Keeper says, we are not interested in your proposal. Our intention was to eliminate the unaligned succubus.
Bo says, yeah, here.
Your blood has spoken. You have chosen a side.
You are dark.
- Lauren is the lost girl in this episode and Bo’s heart seems hardened. We are not back to normal yet. Plus memory losses are still an issue.
- References to building pipe bombs and spybangs and the value of Valkyrie hair go way back to past seasons. Nice. Also nice the way Lauren’s living wall turned out to be meaningful.
- Bo is told she’s dark whether she chose to be or not. That’s an interesting twist. Will she remember her words to Tamsin that she can be whatever she wants? And if it’s her blood that has placed her in the dark camp, what about her Blood King grandfather, who is light? Aife is dark. The Wanderer, who may or may not be her father, is dark. Does she really have a choice?
- Dyson is always willing to have sex with Bo, but he doesn’t regard her as his despite her willingness to have sex with him. Does this mean Lauren is still a factor in a love triangle? Most importantly, why doesn’t Bo show any interest in rushing off to save her?
- Brava Ksenia Solo! I love the joy of the endless quip from Kenzi, I do. But thanks to the writers for giving Ksenia Solo the chance to show her considerable range and depth this season. So much talent.