Lost Girl episode 11 of season 5 is “Sweet Valkyrie High.” As you might guess from the title, this episode is Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) all the way. Also back after a very long hiatus is Evony (Emmanuelle Vaugier) in all her human weakness.
It’s “End of a Line” on Lost Girl. Everyone but Bo thinks Rainer is evil, the line between life and death is permeable, and someone we love dies. (Say it isn’t so!)
Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) and Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) are picking a movie to help distract them from the fact that Bo has locked them out over the Rainer situation, when Bo (Anna Silk) walks into the room. Bo likes zombie movies, too. Kenzi wants to know she isn’t brainwashed and that she still has a best friend. (Lauren suggested brainwashing in the last episode, too.)
To prove she isn’t brainwashed, Bo makes a speech about how things weren’t perfect with Dyson and Lauren is all buddy buddy with The Morrigan, but with Rainer, Bo finally feels like she provided something to a relationship. She and Rainer want the same things. It’s bigger than love.
Is she brainwashed? I really hope so.
Bo picks up Jerry Maguire from the videos and tells Kenzi, you complete me. Tamsin blurts out, “Hale wants Kenzi to move in with him.” Bo can’t believe Kenzi would be leaving her. Not so much fun when it happens to her.
Bo goes downstairs to gather snacks for the movie-watching party. A zombie (oops, in the Fae world they are called revenants, not zombies) staggers into the kitchen. Bo stabs him with the ever-present kitchen sword but he keeps coming.
Something slices off the revenant’s head. Who steps into the frame while resheathing her sword but Acacia (Linda Hamilton). She has a reanimated hand and an idea that the vision before her must be Bo. In a show full of awesome women, Linda Hamilton merely steps in front of the camera and the awesome goes up by about 1000%.
Tamsin shoves Acacia against a wall and says, “You’re supposed to be dead!” Seems Acacia got lucky. Massimo reattached her hand after The Wanderer’s crows cut it off. She’s a revenant hunter now. When she hears that Rainer is Bo’s “boyfriend,” she’s ready to leave but Tamsin holds her back.
Tamsin finds a Wanderer card on the revenant. Bo says Rainer left last night to go the battlefield to pay his respects to the dead. Tamsin thinks maybe he intends to reanimate them. Acacia is also skeptical. Bo finally says, “All right, get your coats,” and they head off to investigate. Tamsin tosses the revenant’s head in a plastic bag to take with them.
Vex (Paul Amos) enters Trick’s (Rick Howland) lair. Trick invited him for a talk. Trick said he had to use his blood because Rainer was always 10 steps ahead of him. He thinks Rainer is defiant, not evil. But there is real evil out there. Trick tells Vex that Vex’s father was a great hero, his best general. Vex doesn’t believe it.
Kenzi’s wiping up the bloody mess Bo left in the kitchen when there’s a knock at the door.
It’s Dimitri (Ian Matthews) the larcenous cousin we’ve heard Kenzi speak to on the phone so many times. And a woman (Linda Kash).
The woman is Kenzi’s mom.
Switch to a fabulous outdoor set where the cult of the dead hang out. If anyone has revenants (like Rainer) this where to find them. Sure enough, here comes a revenant, intent on doing something nasty to our 3 ladies.
Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) shows up, decapitates the revenant, and apologizes for being late. About time he saved someone. Everyone else has had to save him lately.
Kenzi’s family reunion involves mom cooking something, Dimitri doing something criminal on the phone, and everyone fighting and arguing about it. Normal for Kenzi’s family. Hale (K.C. Collins) comes in. Kenzi tries to chase him off.
But Hale’s not leaving. Why? Because Hale invited them!
Tamsin and Dyson team up to investigate locals. Bo and Acacia do the same. Acacia leads Bo to Harvey (Scott McCord). Harvey is a sexist ass. Just in case you didn’t pick up on that, I wanted to be sure you notice. Acacia pounds him onto a table, shows him the head in the plastic bag, and wants to know who it is. He seems to like the pain. Bo tries her succubus charms on him, which works. He’ll talk.
He pours a little blood from the head into a glass and takes a sip. Drinking blood is the only way to gain dominion over a revenant. Or to find out who currently has dominion. This taste test tells Harvey the asshole that the revenant belongs to Bo. Well, that’s surprising news.
Bo and Acacia start a shoving match, arguing over who is to blame for what. Asshole is filming the whole thing while shouting sexist asshole encouragement.
Tamsin and Dyson discuss the fact that Bo is crazy when a guy comes up talking about 3 sisters. Three magic sisters. Only one survived and she can control the dead. She is dead and alive. Tamsin considers this a lead to a woman named Laveau, so she interrupts Bo and Acacia in their rather tame cat fight. Bo smashes asshole’s camera before she goes.
Kenzi’s mom wants to make up. She gives Kenzi earrings. Mom confesses to all sorts of mistakes including not protecting Kenzi from her stepfather. Kenzi describes how much she suffered. Mom says she kicked out the evil stepfather.
Kenzi hugs her and says she was really worried. She did the right thing in kicking out the stepfather. Mom wants to celebrate.
Tamsin and Acacia walk and talk. “The Wanderer gets off the train and starts playing house?” Acacia asks. Tamsin says she may have given Rainer’s soul to the Blood King. She didn’t take him to Valhalla. She helped make him The Wanderer.
Acacia says they have to take him out, he is bad news. “Just because he’s boning sugar snatch doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you be.” Acacia says, “Rainer’s revenants are after you.” Tamsin looks determined, angry.
The four investigators reach Laveau’s (Marci T House) trailer. She introduces herself as a voodoo priestess. Love the outfit.
Laveau knows who everyone is. She knows all about everyone. She can wake the dead. Suddenly Acacia’s reanimated hand starts waving her sword around while Laveau laughs maniacally.
Tamsin restrains the hand. Laveau reveals that she wants the last remaining seed from the Una Mens. She wants to fight some new evil (actually, Trick mentioned it, too, in his conversation with Vex) called something that sounds like Peerapis. Dyson gives her a knockout punch to the back of the head.
(Thanks to Drinks at the Dal for being better Googlers than I am, and figuring out the word Pyrippus, which is a bat-winged, fire-breathing hell horse.)
Hale compliments Mom’s cooking. Mom says Kenzi helped and that she’s going to make Hale a good wife. Kenzi says, “Oh, my god, mom.”
That’s when Hale gets down on his knees and asks Kenzi to marry him. Before she can answer with anything more than a shocked expression, we learn that Hale promised the evil Kenzi-abusing bastard of a stepdad money for a startup and mom didn’t actually kick him out. Being a nice guy wasn’t the right choice this time, Hale. Screwed up big time.
Kenzi tells mom and Dimitri it’s time to go.
Bo and Dyson deliver Laveau to Harvey. She wakes up on his table. That’s when two things happen. 1. Bo figures out that Laveau and Harvey are working together. 2. About a million revenants start crashing their way into the room. Dyson prepares to go wolfie on them, while Laveau and Harvey hold a smootchfest in the background.
Laveau is dead, but not. Dead and alive. Dead or alive she wants the Una Mens seed. No deal, Laveau. Bo figures out that Laveau’s the chief revenant and uses her trusty knife to slice off Laveau’s head. Then, ew.
Bo drinks blood from Laveau’s severed head. Dominion, baby. She raises her arms Christ-like, says, “Be at peace,” and the ravening hoard of revenants drop placidly to the floor.
As mom walks out the door Kenzi mentions all the horrible things she did to her. Mom says, “I wouldn’t have done them if you hadn’t been so defiant.” She sounds like Trick. She tries to slap Kenzi, but Kenzi blocks it and tells her goodbye. Dimitri tells her that Hale is a good guy before he goes.
Kenzi leans against the closed door, hurt and saddened all over again by her family.
Dyson’s pouring shots as fast as his wolf arm will move, alone at the Dal. Bo sits beside him, asks him if he wants to talk about it. He says no one knows anything about Rainer. He may be after Trick. Bo tells him he has a right to be hurt.
Dyson says, I’ll always be there for you, but if this Rainer turns out to be a bad guy, I can’t help you with that. Bo doesn’t believe him. “You and I were always more than just lovers.”
“And what are we now?” Dyson asks.
Bo says she doesn’t understand the whole thing either, but she swears she wasn’t kidnapped. She says, “You can’t always choose your path.” (This from the woman who says once a week, “I will live the life I choose.”) She leaves him there drinking.
Trick and Vex are now laughing over a story about Vex’s dad and what a great guy he was. Trick’s books mysteriously straighten themselves on the shelf. Rainer’s being written back into history.
Vex prepares to leave but Trick calls after him, asking about the Una Mens seed. He thinks Vex has it.
Tamsin and Acacia are walking and talking again. Tamsin says Acacia’s been lying, she really showed up to sic Tamsin on Rainer, not to chase revenants. Tamsin says if it’s really The Wanderer she will do it right this time. Acacia warns her that Massimo is up to something big.
Bo paces the floor in the clubhouse as Tamsin arrives. Bo says she has questions but she can’t ignore how she feels.
A book opens to reveal a drawing of Rainer. Tamsin says, “hello” in a sexy ain’t-he-a-hunk kind of voice. Bo says, “What do you mean? It’s Rainer. It’s your boss.” Nope, that’s not Tamsin’s boss. Not any Rainer she knows.
Kenzi enters her bedroom, complimenting Hale on the bling he picked out. She sees his abs and says, “Put those away, sir.” She wants to slow things down a bit because they have so much time. All the time in the world. She climbs into the bed beside him and starts kissing him. The abs worked, after all.
Bo is downstairs, staring at the drawing of not-Rainer when Kenzi runs down the stairs, squeals, and shows Bo the ring. Bo congratulates Kenzi, wants to go upstairs and congratulate Hale, when Kenzi says, “No. No pants, no pants.”
Bo gets the funniest embarrassed expression on her face. Anna Silk really should get to be funny more often. Instead of talking to Hale she offers to go buy food and wine – and candy – for a celebration.
Tamsin finds Dyson still downing shots at the Dal. She talks about the day they met at the boxing ring and what he did to her mouth. She straddles him on his bar stool. He tries to discourage her, but she starts kissing him.
She begs, “Oh, come on. Come on,” until he finally does.
Somebody ‘splain the point of this to me. What does a Tamsin and Dyson hookup have to do with anything that’s going on?
Kenzi’s in the kitchen in her undies when Massimo (Tim Rozon) appears. She screams for Hale. Massimo grabs her.
He throws her on the floor, kicks her, talks about how she and the stupid bitch succubus just couldn’t leave it alone. He’s covered with scars or blood or something from being burned alive. (Maybe Massimo’s bloody hand was the one reaching for the Una Mens seed in the last episode.) Kenzi reaches for the sword but he gets it first. She screams for Hale again as Massimo kicks her and puts his foot on her throat. He mocks her fake fae sparkle.
Hale grabs Massimo and punches and kicks him a few times before unleashing a super-sized siren whistle on him that kills him. The whistling made Hale weak. His ears bleed. He goes deaf. He doesn’t hear Kenzi warn him.
Massimo gets up and runs a sword through Hale. Massimo brags about having the sacred twig of Zamora which bestows immortality. The twig Hale gave to Kenzi to protect her. Massimo says, “Consider us paid in full,” and leaves.
Kenzi’s on the floor with Hale, crying, scared. Hale whispers, “I love you,” and dies. Kenzi screams and cries. The camera moves up above them in one of those shots that suggest a soul ascending to heaven. Finally we see them from ceiling height. Much as I hate the idea of Hale dying, it’s a beautiful shot.
When Bo gets back Kenzi is lying on top of Hale. Kenzi says, “Massimo did this and it’s all my fault. The twig. . . . I gave it to Massimo for my powers. My stupid, stupid powers.”
“Bo, you can bring him back. The chi thing.” Bo says there isn’t enough chi. Bo takes Kenzi’s chi but it isn’t enough.
To take enough chi to bring Hale back would kill Kenzi. Bo won’t do it. Kenzi is furious – flailing – when Bo chooses her over Hale. Kenzi’s hysterical – can you blame her? To calm her down, Bo socks her with enough succubus charm to knock her out. Kenzi crumples over Hale into Bo’s lap.
Then Bo breaks into tears.
It’s so easy to get caught up in wishful thinking as a fan of this show, but I’m sure wishing that Hale will somehow be restored. Maybe enough people will show up that Bo can do the chi thing. Come on, Hale can’t die! It gives me hope that K.C. Collins was very active on Twitter during the broadcast of this episode and didn’t act like someone who was leaving.
Bo is cray-cray on the topic of Rainer.
Only two episodes left to find out what Lauren’s been up to with the Evony DNA she stole with a kiss.
Only two episodes left to learn something about The Wanderer. Or Rainer. Or if they are one in the same.
Are they going to be renewed for a 5th season? Please. Come on. Come on. Come on.