Trick (Richard Howland) talks to a photo of Bo. “Please, my darling granddaughter, just tell us. Where are you?” The question on everyone’s mind starts off the episode. Lost Girl still has a lost girl.
Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) gets off his motorcycle at the spot where Tamsin drove off the cliff. The spot he’s been going to every day in search of Tamsin. He pokes around in the weeds.
He finds a little spitfire of a girl (Ava Preston). Based on her attitude and her mass of blonde hair, I think she’s a teeny-tiny Valkyrie.
Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) is preparing Bo’s bedroom for a welcome home. She has everything a succubus could want in her love nest: chocolate, lube, the promise of angel quality Victoria Secret models and a perfectly made bed. I like this shot of Kenzi checking out the bed because it has both Mia Kirshner and Ali Liebert listed as guest stars on the same screen.
Dyson asks her what she’s doing, especially since they haven’t found Bo yet. As Kenzi fondles Bo’s kimono, he tells her she needs to come downstairs.
Kenzi sees the urchin in the kitchen and says, “Oh, my god, it’s mini-me.” Dyson tells her he thinks she was in the crash. “Valkyries have many lives.” He wants to keep her because she may know something about Bo’s father. Kenzi agrees that they need to go all interrogation on her. The girl tosses a huge knife into the wall with perfect accuracy, says, “Peace out, losers,” and flounces off. Kenzi says, “Tamsin,” and Dyson agrees.
At Ronny’s Restaurant, Lauren – err, Amber – is cursing a phone call that doesn’t go through. Crystal, another waitress, comes up behind her. It’s everyone’s favorite Bomb Girl, Ali Liebert. She says, “You ever need anything . . . ” as an offer to help the lovely Amber with just about anything. Amber denies needing help and walks off.
Trick is explaining that newly reborn Valkyries don’t always remember everything, which is why they can’t get the info they want out of tiny Tamsin. He says they sometimes suppress memories from the last lifetime.
Trick comments on how insecure the clubhouse is while messing with a crate he brought from the Dal. You know which crate, the one with The Wanderer card in it that nobody has yet noticed contains an image of Bo. Dyson notices cuts on Trick’s arm and Trick explains about a run-in with Aife. Unfortunately, the encounter drove Aife, “back to insanity over the loss of her child.” That’s ambiguous enough to let them do just about anything with Aife in future episodes.
Trick says to find Bo they need the compass they left behind at Angleworm’s, but Kenzi whips it out and says, “Oh, this bad boy?” Trick checks out the compass and announces that Bo is no longer on this physical plane.
Cut to Bo (Anna Silk), who wakes up atop a bed in a white nightgown. She’s in something that’s moving.
Bo peers out a window and sees clouds or smoke flying by. “Shit,” is her reaction.
Dyson and Trick are talking about someone who can traverse the intersecting planes of existence to track Bo. Endymion. He’s been missing for 800 years. The only Fae who might know where the missing Endymion is turns out to be his ex, Selene (Cynthia Preston), who owns a salon. Trick has her address right here in his Fae Rolodex.
They hear horrible screams and Trick says it’s the Una Mens. Cut to a dungeon where Vex (Paul Amos) is trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and bleeding from almost every square inch of skin. The dungeon master (Christine Horne) want to know where The Morrigan’s body is. Vex says she isn’t dead, she’s missing. They threaten him with a mask. For some reason the mask is really scary and he caves. He asks why he would give them a crazy bitch when he can give them – her. He gestures to a mask.
The camera pans past masks for the unaligned succubus and the human doctor. Who is Vex selling out now? And what the hell are the scary masks about? They let him go but put some gooey gunk from the dungeon master’s neck in his mouth first.
At Selene’s salon, Dyson and Hale (K.C. Collins) are looking for Endymion, also known as Eddie, which is much easier to spell, thank you. Selene says he hasn’t been around in ages. She wants to cut Dyson’s curly hair and drags him to the back.
Hale tries to break into the salon’s computer, when Clio (Mia Kirshner) shows up, snatches his hat, and says, “What do you want with Eddie? Selene isn’t going to tell you shit. You need to go see Astrid.” She writes something on Hale’s hand as a message to Astrid and disappears, leaving only the hat.
Back at the succubus love nest Kenzi is perfecting, tiny Tamsin is asking a lot of questions. Kenzi gives her a giant lollipop, which was part of the love nest supplies.
Maybe I lack imagination, but I cannot decide how Bo would make use of a giant lollipop during her sexual escapades. I finally decide the lollipop is an homage to The L Word because it looks exactly like the one Jenny, played so well by Mia Kirshner, was licking during Max’s baby shower.
Tiny Tamsin wants to know if Kenzi has a boyfriend and if they make out. Kenzi says men are dumb and love kicks you in the friggin’ box – or whatever. Tiny Tamsin eyes Bo’s night stand and says, “What’s a condom?” Kenzi says everything in Bo’s room is off limits to little Valkyries. The little Valkyrie is bouncing like mad. Kenzi says, “Why are you vibrating? Is that a Valyrie thing?” Nope, just gotta pee.
Tiny Tamsin tosses Kenzi’s magic sparkle cream that makes her a fake Fae in the toilet. Kenzi demonstrates the gleam, but when Tiny Tamsin wants more she is out of gleam cream.
Astrid (Farah Merani), who has no mouth and therefore can’t talk, is talking a blue streak. She’s giving Dyson and Hale advice about their loves lives while she discusses scents. She says Hale needs to learn to hunt (Kenzi, we presume), and puts a drop of scent on him. She gives Dyson a vial she calls “one kiss.”
In the salon, a whole herd of scantily clad beautiful women dance around Dyson and Hale. Every good looking woman in Canada must have been hired for this scene. Suddenly Clio appears. She’s dressed in black slacks with a tucked in white shirt. Compared to the other women in the salon, she looks positively butch. Dyson wants to ask her questions, but she says, “Girls, it’s feeding time and guess who’s coming to dinner.” Dinner is Hale. (Yes, they did make a guess who’s coming to dinner joke about Hale. Boo. Hiss.) All the pretty girls gather around Hale, apparently to smell him. Because, you know, the scent.
Kenzi attempts to make cookies to entertain Tiny Tamsin. Tiny Tamsin finds The Wanderer card. When she touches it, it bursts into flames. Someone finally notices that Bo is on the card. MMXV is also on the card, which Tamsin asks about. She also asks if Kenzi thinks Bo is stuck in the card.
Dyson breaks into a bedroom to find Eddie (Benjamin Ayres). He’s asleep and Dyson can’t wake him. Selene appears and says Eddie isn’t dead, just fast, fast asleep.
At the restaurant, Lauren – err, Amber – sees a newspaper photo that looks a lot like Bo. She drops all her dishes on the floor. Crystal comes over to help clean up and lets Lauren know that she isn’t fooling anyone with her fake resume that says she’s waited tables before.
Crystal touches Lauren, straightens her hair, pins on her name tag for her and calls her cute, funny and sexy. Oddly, she isn’t put off by the horrid wig. As if that wasn’t enough obvious flirting, Crystal wants to get a drink with Amber/Lauren after work.
Amber/Lauren gives Crystal that look, you know, the one where she uses her eyes. The look that says I realize you are incredibly desirable and you are offering yourself to me. Then she says she can’t have a drink after work, she just can’t.
Back in Eddie’s bedroom, Dyson uses his vial of one kiss to make Selene kiss Eddie and wake him up. She’d rather kiss Dyson, but the stuff in the vial works. Eddie is back with us. First he elbows his wife, calls her a harlot. Then he wants mead and a Turkish bath.
Bo is locking picking her way out of the railroad car, muttering, “You’re right Kenz, lock picking is a skill everyone should know.” She pauses, “Kenz, I know that name.” What? She doesn’t remember Kenzi? Everyone else remembers. Why doesn’t Bo remember? She gives up on the lock and pounds on the door. A nurse dressed in a uniform that looks like it was in style in the Civil War comes in and says, “Hush, you’ll awaken him.”
“Him?” asks Bo.
“I don’t think I can say,” says the nurse. Bo remembers she can charm people, because she immediately lays a succubus touch on the nurse to try to get more information out of her. The nurse says, “Beautiful eyes – both brown and blue. You’re the one.” Well, that’s spooky déjà vu.
The train goes all wobbly and the nurse says, “You made him angry.”
Eddie, who has a mysteriously appearing and disappearing umbrella, brought Hale and Dyson to a place with a lot of junk piled beside some railroad tracks. He says he must know Dyson’s true feelings for Bo to find her. First Dyson gives him a description: brown hair, 5’6″, etc. That won’t do. Dyson shows Eddie the burned card photo on his phone that Kenzi sent him. Eddie wants to know if Kenzi is his, too, just like this Bo. Hale says, “No, she’s mine.” Eddie says if Bo is the person on the card she’s in a heap of trouble.
To make the tracking work, Dyson has to give the feels. He says, “She has the most beautiful heart. And it breaks every time someone she loves is hurting. She’s brave. Stubborn. Passionate. True. She loves with all of her being. And I can’t do any of this without her.” Eddie likes that.
Hale says it’s hard to say stuff like that out loud. Dyson, says, “Hale, you gotta tell Kenzi how you feel.” Hale says it isn’t that easy, makes excuses. Dyson says no more excuses. Hale splits to go find Kenzi.
Amber/Lauren delivers a plate of liver and onions to a male customer. He says, “Thank you, darlin'” She sits down by Crystal to fold napkins and says, “I think that guy just slapped my butt with his eyes. How do you put up with some of these customers?”
“Same as I put up with some of the staff.” Getting turned down on an invite for drinks brings out the claws.
Amber/Lauren apologizes for earlier, which Crystal quickly forgives. The liver and onions guy chokes and Lauren goes into doctor mode.
Amber/Lauren slices open the guy’s throat with a table knife, asks him what kind of Fae he is to be sure she knows what she’s doing, and pulls a metal cage or something equally weird out of him. Despite the 7″ slit in his neck, he sits up and says thank you.
Amber/Lauren looks up to see that Crystal has filmed the whole thing with her phone. (Déjà vu is everywhere you look.) Crystal has visions of big money from selling this piece of alien footage somewhere. Lauren isn’t thrilled.
By the railroad tracks, Dyson and Eddie talk dimensional shifts. Dyson smells someone following them. (Clio is on a rooftop with binoculars.)
Hale shows up at the clubhouse with flowers. He’s practicing his speech to Kenzi when she comes in and tells him to hush because Tiny Tamsin is asleep. He gives her the flowers. She says, “Hale, that’s so sweet. These are gonna add that little boom, boom, pow Bo’s room needs.” She’s a heartbreaker, that Kenzi.
“I like you,” Hale blurts out. “Every time I walk into a room, you are all I can look at.” Kenzi plants a big kiss on him, pauses, wonders what she’s doing, sweeps everything off the counter and pulls Hale on top with her, pauses, says, “This is all right, right?” She grabs him again, does something with her hands in his lower regions while he is saying, “Wait, wait.” She looks at her handiwork, says, “Oh, god, I love you in purple!” and wraps her legs around him. Hale says, “Wait, it’s the perfume.” She doesn’t want to give up and waste the purple, but just then Tamsin screams.
They rush upstairs to find a teen Tamsin (Eliana Jones) with even more thick Valkyrie curls than Tiny Tamsin. Teen Tamsin is mortified by her breasts. They tell her everything will be okay and Hale attempts a Dad speech.
Teen Tamsin says she’s super bizarro. Kenzi says, “Sorry, kid. You’re growing up.”
Kudos to the casting crew. Not only did they find every pretty 20-something woman in Canada to be in the salon scenes, they also found two young actors who look very much like Rachel Skarsten to be the younger Tamsins.
Dyson finds a machine in the junk beside the railroad tracks. It looks a bit like an old radio from the days when radios had tubes and took up the whole living room wall. He thinks the thing is important but Eddie doesn’t know what it is. Dyson realizes Eddie has been asleep so long he doesn’t know what anything modern is and can’t track. Clio flies into the scene and tackles Eddie with his own umbrella. Clio rants about opening the gate to another dimension with a ticket and how it would make them all go boom. Then she fights off Dyson with the umbrella. He knocks out one of her teeth with the thing.
Clio says, “He is not Eddie. I’m Eddie,” and smacks the umbrella in the dirt for emphasis. Seems Eddie was asleep so long that she took over his gigs. Then we need some exposition about how Eddie’s spawn were elementals but they only have command of one element, whereas Clio is some sort of super elemental who has command of all four elements: earth, air, water, and fire. Finished with her exposition, Clio pushes Eddie onto the train tracks, and she knows a train is coming. He quotes 800 year old poetry as the train obliterates him leaving no trace. Clio says the next train comes at a quarter after 8 and asks if Dyson has a ticket. He says he might.
Back at the clubhouse, looking at The Wanderer card with MMXV on it. Could be 2015 or 8:15 pm. Kenzi says no one can touch the card because it bursts into flames, but Clio can because of the elemental thingy. Dyson and Clio leave with the card.
Clio stuffs the ticket in the strange machine. It works.
Dyson’s phone rings and it’s Lauren. She wants to come home. I hope home is the place where Bo is, and not some Fae compound ruled over by a new Ash. Dyson says it’s not safe, people are still looking for her. She tells Dyson to take care of her.
Vex is breaking into a car, on the phone promising money to – wait for it – Clio. He insists he will pay a lot if Bo is returned in one piece. Clio is talking on a plastic cylinder that appears and disappears from behind her ear without logical explanation. Do Apple and Google know about this communication device?
Phone calls finished, Dyson and Clio go stand on the track, right where Eddie had once been. Clio says, “Shit’s about to get interesting. That’s a death train.” They disappear magically just as the train approaches.
Teen Tamsin sleeps in Bo’s bed as Kenzi sets off with a bejeweled gadget which she will use to pay for more Sparkle Plenty from Massimo. She swiped the jeweled thing from Trick, and he’s looking for it. Teen Tamsin may be grown Tamsin when she wakes up – did Kenzi think about that when she let her sleep in Bo’s perfect sex palace?
Amber/Lauren and Crystal are downing shots after work, still in the cafe. Yeah, I know Lauren said she couldn’t but that was before the video incident. Crystal leaves to pee and Lauren digs immediately for her phone. There’s a password. Crystal returns and tells her the password. Crystal says, “This is about that alien video.”
Lauren says, “That video can’t exist.” She explains about the bad people who will come for her and says she wishes she could tell Crystal more. Crystal deletes it. Lauren gives her a long, long, long hug. Crystal offers to delete 30 Instagrams of gas station sandwiches if hugging will happen again. Lauren says, “I’m Lauren.” Crystal says, “Nice to meet you, Lauren.”
Bo sucked enough chi from the nurse to be able to escape the train. (The train one hopes Dyson and Clio just boarded, but oh, well.) Bo opens the train door, looks out into the night, and leaps.
- Have they stopped using the word “fae” in every episode title?
- Again, a light episode for new mommie Anna Silk, giving her time with the baby. And not making her stuff her new mommie body into Bo’s leather pants quite yet. However, this episode’s searching after Bo got us nowhere, really. She jumped off the train just as Dyson and Clio got on. Does that mean we have to spend another episode Bo-less? I’m ready for the succubus to be back at 100%.
- Ali Liebert is so delicious. She’s the Marilyn Monroe of the 21st Century, minus all the simpering.
- Maybe the props, especially the disappearing umbrella and the disappearing tube behind the ear that Clio used to communicate, were metaphors for the disappearing memories of Bo, who can’t remember Kenzi, and for Kenzi, who can’t seem to remember her own love life.
- Rachel, where are you?