Recap: Lost Girl S4, E4, Turn to Stone

A poem should not mean
But be.
– Ars Poetica by Archibald MacLeish.

This season on Lost Girl storylines just are. No transitions, no explanations, no clarifications. They are what they are. Like the poet said, we must be willing to let it be, no matter how badly our minds want to fill in the blanks.

Bo (Anna Silk) and Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) are boxing. Bo complains about being restless. Dyson says you have to lay low, they’re looking for you. Bo says, so they want to kill me – so what. Dyson says the Una Mens power is ancient. Bo points out that’s the last thing on her mind. Dyson asks if she wants to talk about that first thing on her mind.

Bo pauses, is there any word? Dyson says not lately, but it’s better if she stays away. Then he says Lauren’s smart, she can take care of herself.

Oh, now Bo remembers Lauren. As soon as we realize this new fact, Bo strips off her boxing gloves and says she might as well juice up if she has to protect herself.

In case I need to protect myself
In case I need to protect myself

She grabs Dyson by his junk and wants sex. He’s willing and they start tearing off their clothes and going at it. They’re rough about it. Not Buffy and Spike destroying a building rough, but definitely not tender.

A stone gargoyle appears. It startles them and disappears.

I'm here
I’m here

It’s the first of several appearances the stone boy will make, but it doesn’t distract the succubus from her sex drive for long.

At the clubhouse an older teen Tamsin (Eliana Jones) is being schooled in the art of twerking by Kenzi (Ksenia Solo). We all know that the way to escape being labeled a child is to twerk, right? Kenzi’s brushing Tamsin’s hair and comments that not a single strand came out on the brush.

Let me in
Let me in

Bo arrives but cannot enter because of a guard spell on the doors that flares up. Kenzi runs to fix it because “it’s only supposed to block out malicious Fae.” Can you say foreshadowing?

Kenzi gives Bo a huge hug. It’s apparently one of many, because Bo asks how long the incessant hugging is going to last.

Bo and Kenzi leave teen Tamsin at home to watch The X Files so they can go boozing at a Dal made very sad by the approach of the Una Mens. Trick is nowhere in sight, but Bo puts music on and gets everyone in the place dancing. Bo Bo is back, says Kenz.

Massimo (Tim Rozen) is at the Dal, wanting payment from Kenzi for his faux fae sparkle cream. She promises he’ll get it and lifts a jar of the stuff from his pocket while smiling into his eyes with succubus-like charm.

Back at the clubhouse, teen Tamsin gets a visit from a couple of guys in hoods and robes. She goes all skeletor on them and then bends over with a pain in her back accompanied by the sound of bones cracking. When Bo and Kenzi get home, the place is emptied out. They’ve been robbed.

I think I grew again
I think I grew again

They find a naked Tamsin, who is finally the grown up Rachel Skarsten we’ve been waiting for. She says, I think I grew again.

Bo and Tamsin are at the police station, reporting the robbery to Dyson.

Here's what you can do if you're good
Want to go shopping?

Bo and Dyson talk about sex but because of Tamsin’s baby ears they refer to it as going shopping. It’s flirtatious and sounds like fun to Tamsin, who wants to go shopping with them. Bo jumps up with the excuse that she needs to use the facilities and dashes off, leaving Dyson stuck babysitting Tamsin.

Who's this?
Who’s this?

Tamsin points to a book of mug shots where a photo of Lauren in circled in red. Who’s this? she asks. Dyson says it’s someone who’s lost and Tamsin has to help him find her.

It's all my fault
It’s all my fault

Cut to a dark room where Crystal (Ali Liebert) is handcuffed to a pipe. She says, It’s all my fault. They told me they wouldn’t hurt you. Lauren (Zoie Palmer), who finally sports her own blonde hair, wants to know who they are.

Should I call you Karen
Should I call you Karen?

A voice comes from a speaker. Long time no see Lauren, or should I call you Karen?

Kenzi looks for Massimo and gets thrown in a van by a couple of thugs. Bo appears and saves her. Bo says since when to you fly solo? I’m back. Kenzi says it’s my problem. She tells Bo that the problem is with Massimo and Bo gets upset that Kenzi knows him. Bo thinks Massimo sucks.

Bo and Kenzi go to Massimo’s place. Bo tells him the rune glass didn’t work, it didn’t kill her. He says, I gave it to Tamsin to mark you, to allow you to transcend planes to be collected. She wants to know who took her but he won’t say.

Bo says she wants their stuff back and then he’s going to leave Kenzi alone. He still wants payment, which he will take in the form of something that grows in Lauren’s apartment on her green wall. Bo says they will get the herb, but if he doesn’t keep his end of the bargain, she will kill him. She looks like she means it, too. What happened to all those I’m not a murderer speeches she used to make?

Back in the dark room where Lauren and Crystal are held, Crystal confesses, I slept with you to keep you close. They made me. But after I did, it was different. It was more. I’m thinking when a woman who can keep a succubus happy visits your bed, her mad skills definitely should make an impression. Is that the kind of “more” Crystal means? Nah, probably not.

Lauren nods her head. Spybanged – I’ve been here before. In your shoes, actually.

confessions
confessions

Lauren makes a confession of her own. She has a brother who’s an eco-terrorist. She made pipe bombs for him to blow up pipelines. Eleven people got killed by one of her pipe bombs. She says, not a day goes by that I don’t hate myself. She’s been running ever since. Lauren says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I never even told Bo.

The voice on the speaker wants Lauren to look under a tarp, where a drawer full of science equipment waits. If she doesn’t provide some science within an hour, Crystal dies. Is Lauren really going to have to go through this again?

Where't the herb?
Where’s the herb

At Lauren’s Kenzi looks for the right plant as she and Bo talk about Lauren. Like why did she go with Taft? Kenzi says Lauren was one of the good ones. Bo says I always thought you were on Dyson. Kenzi guiltily asks on, what do you mean on? Bo explains she means team Dyson.

wanted
Wanted

Bo finds the wanted poster for Karen Beattie. She says I didn’t know Lauren at all. I don’t even know her name. Why does everyone lie to me, she asks. Except you, Kenzi, which is why I love you. Opps, goes Kenzi’s face. They try to leave with the herb but flames bar the door.

Was I a good cop?
Was I a good cop?

At the police station, Tamsin is helping Dyson check Lauren’s phone records. No phone calls for the last two days. She wonders if she was a good cop. She wants to know if Bo is Dyson’s girlfriend. He qualifies his answer by explaining about Lauren. What does love feel like, asks Tamsin.

At Lauren’s apartment, Bo and Kenzi discuss how to get past the flames. Kenzi says maybe it’s the Sparkle Plenty gleam cream and a shower might help, but she doesn’t want to wash her hair.

Be gone, gleam cream
Be gone, gleam cream

Bo solves the problem by dumping water on Kenzi’s head. At least Kenzi can get through the door now. Bo stays behind and digs through Lauren’s stuff. She finds a gift box – the card reads “For giving me the freedom to love. And I do.” Inside is a necklace.

For giving me the freedom to love
For giving me the freedom to love

Bo assumes the gift was for her and clutches it to her heart. Well, as close as she can get to her heart with those boobs cantilevered up so high by her engineering marvel of a bra. She looks soft and moved – the Bo we used to know before this Bo who threatens to murder people showed up.

Bam, up pops the gargoyle. Bo turns to the gargoyle but it’s gone. Who’s there? she asks. Wanderer? She tells whatever it is that she won’t be taken again. She finally catches a glimpse of the gargoyle. It’s mouth is bloody and Bo has a bite on her arm. Kenzi returns to fix the flames at the door and finds Bo with a bloody arm.

What's happening?
What’s happening

Cut to Tamsin, who is bleeding from her shoulder blades.

Kenzi bandages Bo’s arm and makes her own all-inclusive confession. She owes Massimo a lot. She’s been stealing from Trick and from Hale. She can’t get a permanent Fae power no matter how much she tries. She’s been feeling helpless and not able and a liability. She kissed Dyson. But she thinks she only really wants to kiss Hale. She’s alone.

You left me, Bo.
You left me, Bo.

Bo says she’s not alone, she has Bo. Kenzi says, you left me, Bo. What if you leave again? As hard as I try, I’m just not one of you. Bo says what’s going on? Of all the things I’m in the dark about, I never thought it would be you.

Dyson calls and says he’s lost Tamsin. Bo asks Kenzi what she saw of theirs at Massimo’s. Kenzi mentions her hair brush, which Bo thinks Massimo wants because of the mad value of Valkyrie hair.

Massimo shows up at the clubhouse and tells Tamsin they are friends and she is supposed to go with him. He takes her to his place where he tapes her to a chair and cuts off a hunk of hair.

Valkyrie hair. Yes.
Valkyrie hair. Yes.

Tamsin squirms about in the chair and moves her shoulders as he explains that she tried to kill Bo. That’s why Bo hates me, she says. He’s only interested in the hair.

Bo arrives to tell him not to cut a woman’s hair when she doesn’t want it. He puts his razor to Bo’s throat and we hear a powerful command, “Stop. Release,” from Tamsin.

The Valkyrie has her wings.
The Valkyrie has her wings.

Bo and Massimo are startled by Tamsin, who has sprouted a wing span of about 15 feet. That’s new.

In lockup, Lauren reports that the elder she’s supposed to diagnose needs to stop eating his own kind because he has “mad fae” disease. She takes off her handcuffs and chains, calling them child’s play. She doesn’t remove Crystal’s handcuffs, however. For some reason, the dude on the speaker has to do that.

Come on out, Hale, Lauren says.

You're not Hale
You’re not Hale

A metal door clangs open, a shaft of light illuminates Lauren, and she stares in amazement. All we see is a bit of arm. You’re not Hale, she says.

At Massimo’s pad, Tamsin wants to kill him, figuring she kills because she’s dark. Plus the fact that she announces that she’s the Harbinger of Death. Bo tells her she can be whatever she want to be. Tamsin says you despise me. Bo says we fought but I never hated you. In fact I thought you were incredible.

I thought you were incredible
I thought you were incredible

Bo hugs Tamsin, gives her a full body shot of succubus charm. The wings retract, the murder goes out of her eyes, and Tamsin says that’s what love feels like.

Massimo says when a Valkyrie gets her wings it’s her last life. Bo accuses him of sending the gargoyles, but he says they only serve their masters.

You're human
You’re human

She succubus kisses him and blurts out, you’re human! That how you got into our house.

I’m a Druid he says, you need me.

She takes the lock of Valkyrie hair. He begs for it back. He cries, saying it’s for his mommie. Bo says, mommie issues – take a number. Bo walks out and tosses the hair in a flaming cauldron. Massimo screams and jumps into the cauldron, too. Bo says no, but she smiles: cruel.

Bo’s back in boxing gloves hitting the punching bag. She tells Kenzi she’s not mad about Dyson. Bo says that Druid potion that marked her needed to be a kiss from someone who would never betray her. Kenzi says, but I did. Bo says, no. You and me found each other and we are family. We stick together even though we fight and screw up.

Family sticks together
Family sticks together

Forgiven and accepted, Kenzi beams.

In Kenzi’s bedroom, Dyson is telling bedtime stories to Tamsin to get her to sleep. It’s season 4 and we just now see Kenzi’s bedroom. It’s strung with twinkly lights but otherwise is so dark you can’t tell much about it, which is a problem because I want to look around. Kenzi comes in. Dyson and Kenzi talk quietly on her bed.

I've lost Lauren
I’ve lost Lauren

Dyson tells her she doesn’t have to be Fae to have a place among them. He offers to teach her how to be “more.” He tells her he’s lost Lauren and he needs to find her.

You have not been summoned
You have not been summoned

Bo walks into the dungeon where the Keeper (Christine Horne) held Vex. You have not been summoned to appear before us, the Keeper says.

Bo says, I go where I want when I want. I don’t live by your rules. Kill me if you can.

The Keeper says, we are not interested in your proposal. Our intention was to eliminate the unaligned succubus.

Bo says, yeah, here.

Your blood has spoken. You have chosen a side.

What side?

You are dark.

Personal Thoughts

  • Lauren is the lost girl in this episode and Bo’s heart seems hardened. We are not back to normal yet. Plus memory losses are still an issue.
  • References to building pipe bombs and spybangs and the value of Valkyrie hair go way back to past seasons. Nice. Also nice the way Lauren’s living wall turned out to be meaningful.
  • Bo is told she’s dark whether she chose to be or not. That’s an interesting twist. Will she remember her words to Tamsin that she can be whatever she wants? And if it’s her blood that has placed her in the dark camp, what about her Blood King grandfather, who is light? Aife is dark. The Wanderer, who may or may not be her father, is dark. Does she really have a choice?
  • Dyson is always willing to have sex with Bo, but he doesn’t regard her as his despite her willingness to have sex with him. Does this mean Lauren is still a factor in a love triangle? Most importantly, why doesn’t Bo show any interest in rushing off to save her?
  • Brava Ksenia Solo! I love the joy of the endless quip from Kenzi, I do. But thanks to the writers for giving Ksenia Solo the chance to show her considerable range and depth this season. So much talent.
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Recap: Lost Girl S4, E2 Sleeping Beauty School

Trick (Richard Howland) talks to a photo of Bo. “Please, my darling granddaughter, just tell us. Where are you?” The question on everyone’s mind starts off the episode. Lost Girl still has a lost girl.

Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) gets off his motorcycle at the spot where Tamsin drove off the cliff. The spot he’s been going to every day in search of Tamsin. He pokes around in the weeds.

Dyson finds this little hellion in the weeds
Dyson finds this little hellion in the weeds

He finds a little spitfire of a girl (Ava Preston). Based on her attitude and her mass of blonde hair, I think she’s a teeny-tiny Valkyrie.

Kenzi surveys the bed
Kenzi surveys the welcome-home love nest

Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) is preparing Bo’s bedroom for a welcome home. She has everything a succubus could want in her love nest: chocolate, lube, the promise of angel quality Victoria Secret models and a perfectly made bed. I like this shot of Kenzi checking out the bed because it has both Mia Kirshner and Ali Liebert listed as guest stars on the same screen.

Dyson asks her what she’s doing, especially since they haven’t found Bo yet. As Kenzi fondles Bo’s kimono, he tells her she needs to come downstairs.

I think she was in the crash.
I think she was in the crash.

Kenzi sees the urchin in the kitchen and says, “Oh, my god, it’s mini-me.” Dyson tells her he thinks she was in the crash. “Valkyries have many lives.” He wants to keep her because she may know something about Bo’s father. Kenzi agrees that they need to go all interrogation on her. The girl tosses a huge knife into the wall with perfect accuracy, says, “Peace out, losers,” and flounces off. Kenzi says, “Tamsin,” and Dyson agrees.

Whatcha doing on the phone, Amber?
Whatcha doing on the phone, Amber?

At Ronny’s Restaurant, Lauren – err, Amber – is cursing a phone call that doesn’t go through. Crystal, another waitress, comes up behind her. It’s everyone’s favorite Bomb Girl, Ali Liebert. She says, “You ever need anything . . . ” as an offer to help the lovely Amber with just about anything. Amber denies needing help and walks off.

Trick is explaining that newly reborn Valkyries don’t always remember everything, which is why they can’t get the info they want out of tiny Tamsin. He says they sometimes suppress memories from the last lifetime.

Trick comments on how insecure the clubhouse is while messing with a crate he brought from the Dal. You know which crate, the one with The Wanderer card in it that nobody has yet noticed contains an image of Bo. Dyson notices cuts on Trick’s arm and Trick explains about a run-in with Aife. Unfortunately, the encounter drove Aife, “back to insanity over the loss of her child.” That’s ambiguous enough to let them do just about anything with Aife in future episodes.

Kenzi still has the compass
Kenzi still has the compass

Trick says to find Bo they need the compass they left behind at Angleworm’s, but Kenzi whips it out and says, “Oh, this bad boy?” Trick checks out the compass and announces that Bo is no longer on this physical plane.

Bo awakens
Bo awakens

Cut to Bo (Anna Silk), who wakes up atop a bed in a white nightgown. She’s in something that’s moving.

Where am I?
Where am I?

Bo peers out a window and sees clouds or smoke flying by. “Shit,” is her reaction.

Dyson and Trick are talking about someone who can traverse the intersecting planes of existence to track Bo. Endymion. He’s been missing for 800 years. The only Fae who might know where the missing Endymion is turns out to be his ex, Selene (Cynthia Preston), who owns a salon. Trick has her address right here in his Fae Rolodex.

Vex is tortured

They hear horrible screams and Trick says it’s the Una Mens. Cut to a dungeon where Vex (Paul Amos) is trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and bleeding from almost every square inch of skin. The dungeon master (Christine Horne) want to know where The Morrigan’s body is. Vex says she isn’t dead, she’s missing. They threaten him with a mask. For some reason the mask is really scary and he caves. He asks why he would give them a crazy bitch when he can give them – her. He gestures to a mask.

Which crazy bitch is Vex giving up?
Who is Vex giving up, the human doctor or the unaligned succubus?

The camera pans past masks for the unaligned succubus and the human doctor. Who is Vex selling out now? And what the hell are the scary masks about? They let him go but put some gooey gunk from the dungeon master’s neck in his mouth first.

At Selene’s salon, Dyson and Hale (K.C. Collins)  are looking for Endymion, also known as Eddie, which is much easier to spell, thank you. Selene says he hasn’t been around in ages. She wants to cut Dyson’s curly hair and drags him to the back.

My hat, now.
My hat, now.

Hale tries to break into the salon’s computer, when Clio (Mia Kirshner) shows up, snatches his hat, and says, “What do you want with Eddie? Selene isn’t going to tell you shit. You need to go see Astrid.” She writes something on Hale’s hand as a message to Astrid and disappears, leaving only the hat.

Back at the succubus love nest Kenzi is perfecting, tiny Tamsin is asking a lot of questions. Kenzi gives her a giant lollipop, which was part of the love nest supplies.

Maybe I lack imagination, but I cannot decide how Bo would make use of a giant lollipop during her sexual escapades. I finally decide the lollipop is an homage to The L Word because it looks exactly like the one Jenny, played so well by Mia Kirshner, was licking during Max’s baby shower.

Tiny Tamsin wants to know if Kenzi has a boyfriend and if they make out. Kenzi says men are dumb and love kicks you in the friggin’ box – or whatever. Tiny Tamsin eyes Bo’s night stand and says, “What’s a condom?” Kenzi says everything in Bo’s room is off limits to little Valkyries. The little Valkyrie is bouncing like mad. Kenzi says, “Why are you vibrating? Is that a Valyrie thing?”  Nope, just gotta pee.

Tiny Tamsin tosses Kenzi’s magic sparkle cream that makes her a fake Fae in the toilet. Kenzi demonstrates the gleam, but when Tiny Tamsin wants more she is out of gleam cream.

Getting the scent
Getting the scent

Astrid (Farah Merani), who has no mouth and therefore can’t talk, is talking a blue streak. She’s giving Dyson and Hale advice about their loves lives while she discusses scents. She says Hale needs to learn to hunt (Kenzi, we presume), and puts a drop of scent on him. She gives Dyson a vial she calls “one kiss.”

In the salon, a whole herd of scantily clad beautiful women dance around Dyson and Hale. Every good looking woman in Canada must have been hired for this scene. Suddenly Clio appears. She’s dressed in black slacks with a tucked in white shirt. Compared to the other women in the salon, she looks positively butch. Dyson wants to ask her questions, but she says, “Girls, it’s feeding time and guess who’s coming to dinner.” Dinner is Hale. (Yes, they did make a guess who’s coming to dinner joke about Hale. Boo. Hiss.) All the pretty girls gather around Hale, apparently to smell him. Because, you know, the scent.

The Wanderer
The Wanderer card

Kenzi attempts to make cookies to entertain Tiny Tamsin. Tiny Tamsin finds The Wanderer card. When she touches it, it bursts into flames. Someone finally notices that Bo is on the card. MMXV is also on the card, which Tamsin asks about. She also asks if Kenzi thinks Bo is stuck in the card.

Dyson breaks into a bedroom to find Eddie (Benjamin Ayres).  He’s asleep and Dyson can’t wake him. Selene appears and says Eddie isn’t dead, just fast, fast asleep.

At the restaurant, Lauren – err, Amber – sees a newspaper photo that looks a lot like Bo. She drops all her dishes on the floor. Crystal comes over to help clean up and lets Lauren know that she isn’t fooling anyone with her fake resume that says she’s waited tables before.

You're cute, funny and sexy.
You’re cute, funny and sexy.

Crystal touches Lauren, straightens her hair, pins on her name tag for her and calls her cute, funny and sexy. Oddly, she isn’t put off by the horrid wig. As if that wasn’t enough obvious flirting, Crystal wants to get a drink with Amber/Lauren after work.

The Lauren look
The Lauren look

Amber/Lauren gives Crystal that look, you know, the one where she uses her eyes. The look that says I realize you are incredibly desirable and you are offering yourself to me. Then she says she can’t have a drink after work, she just can’t.

one kiss
One kiss

Back in Eddie’s bedroom, Dyson uses his vial of one kiss to make Selene kiss Eddie and wake him up. She’d rather kiss Dyson, but the stuff in the vial works. Eddie is back with us. First he elbows his wife, calls her a harlot. Then he wants mead and a Turkish bath.

Kenz. I know that name.
Kenz. I know that name.

Bo is locking picking her way out of the railroad car, muttering, “You’re right Kenz, lock picking is a skill everyone should know.” She pauses, “Kenz, I know that name.” What? She doesn’t remember Kenzi? Everyone else remembers. Why doesn’t Bo remember? She gives up on the lock and pounds on the door. A nurse dressed in a uniform that looks like it was in style in the Civil War comes in and says, “Hush, you’ll awaken him.”

“Him?” asks Bo.

“I don’t think I can say,” says the nurse. Bo remembers she can charm people, because she immediately lays a succubus touch on the nurse to try to get more information out of her. The nurse says, “Beautiful eyes – both brown and blue. You’re the one.” Well, that’s spooky déjà vu.

The train goes all wobbly and the nurse says, “You made him angry.”

Eddie leads the way
Eddie leads the way

Eddie, who has a mysteriously appearing and disappearing umbrella, brought Hale and Dyson to a place with a lot of junk piled beside some railroad tracks. He says he must know Dyson’s true feelings for Bo to find her. First Dyson gives him a description: brown hair, 5’6″, etc. That won’t do. Dyson shows Eddie the burned card photo on his phone that Kenzi sent him. Eddie wants to know if Kenzi is his, too, just like this Bo. Hale says, “No, she’s mine.” Eddie says if Bo is the person on the card she’s in a heap of trouble.

To make the tracking work, Dyson has to give the feels. He says, “She has the most beautiful heart. And it breaks every time someone she loves is hurting. She’s brave. Stubborn. Passionate. True. She loves with all of her being. And I can’t do any of this without her.” Eddie likes that.

Hale says it’s hard to say stuff like that out loud. Dyson, says, “Hale, you gotta tell Kenzi how you feel.” Hale says it isn’t that easy, makes excuses. Dyson says no more excuses. Hale splits to go find Kenzi.

Girl talk
Girl talk

Amber/Lauren delivers a plate of liver and onions to a male customer. He says, “Thank you, darlin'” She sits down by Crystal to fold napkins and says, “I think that guy just slapped my butt with his eyes. How do you put up with some of these customers?”

“Same as I put up with some of the staff.” Getting turned down on an invite for drinks brings out the claws.

Amber/Lauren apologizes for earlier, which Crystal quickly forgives. The liver and onions guy chokes and Lauren goes into doctor mode.

restaurant surgery
restaurant surgery

Amber/Lauren slices open the guy’s throat with a table knife, asks him what kind of Fae he is to be sure she knows what she’s doing, and pulls a metal cage or something equally weird out of him. Despite the 7″ slit in his neck, he sits up and says thank you.

Amber/Lauren looks up to see that Crystal has filmed the whole thing with her phone. (Déjà vu is everywhere you look.) Crystal has visions of big money from selling this piece of alien footage somewhere. Lauren isn’t thrilled.

By the railroad tracks, Dyson and Eddie talk dimensional shifts. Dyson smells someone following them. (Clio is on a rooftop with binoculars.)

Hale shows up at the clubhouse with flowers. He’s practicing his speech to Kenzi when she comes in and tells him to hush because Tiny Tamsin is asleep. He gives her the flowers. She says, “Hale, that’s so sweet. These are gonna add that little boom, boom, pow Bo’s room needs.” She’s a heartbreaker, that Kenzi.

This is all right, right?
This is all right, right?

“I like you,” Hale blurts out. “Every time I walk into a room, you are all I can look at.” Kenzi plants a big kiss on him, pauses, wonders what she’s doing, sweeps everything off the counter and pulls Hale on top with her, pauses, says, “This is all right, right?” She grabs him again, does something with her hands in his lower regions while he is saying, “Wait, wait.” She looks at her handiwork, says, “Oh, god, I love you in purple!” and wraps her legs around him. Hale says, “Wait, it’s the perfume.” She doesn’t want to give up and waste the purple, but just then Tamsin screams.

They rush upstairs to find a teen Tamsin (Eliana Jones) with even more thick Valkyrie curls than Tiny Tamsin. Teen Tamsin is mortified by her breasts. They tell her everything will be okay and Hale attempts a Dad speech.

super bizarro
super bizarro

Teen Tamsin says she’s super bizarro. Kenzi says, “Sorry, kid. You’re growing up.”

Kudos to the casting crew. Not only did they find every pretty 20-something woman in Canada to be in the salon scenes, they also found two young actors who look very much like Rachel Skarsten to be the younger Tamsins.

Dyson finds a machine in the junk beside the railroad tracks. It looks a bit like an old radio from the days when radios had tubes and took up the whole living room wall. He thinks the thing is important but Eddie doesn’t know what it is. Dyson realizes Eddie has been asleep so long he doesn’t know what anything modern is and can’t track. Clio flies into the scene and tackles Eddie with his own umbrella. Clio rants about opening the gate to another dimension with a ticket and how it would make them all go boom. Then she fights off Dyson with the umbrella. He knocks out one of her teeth with the thing.

I'm Eddie
I’m Eddie

Clio says, “He is not Eddie. I’m Eddie,” and smacks the umbrella in the dirt for emphasis. Seems Eddie was asleep so long that she took over his gigs. Then we need some exposition about how Eddie’s spawn were elementals but they only have command of one element, whereas Clio is some sort of super elemental who has command of all four elements: earth, air, water, and fire. Finished with her exposition, Clio pushes Eddie onto the train tracks, and she knows a train is coming. He quotes 800 year old poetry as the train obliterates him leaving no trace. Clio says the next train comes at a quarter after 8 and asks if Dyson has a ticket. He says he might.

Back at the clubhouse, looking at The Wanderer card with MMXV on it. Could be 2015 or 8:15 pm. Kenzi says no one can touch the card because it bursts into flames, but Clio can because of the elemental thingy. Dyson and Clio leave with the card.

The ticket
The ticket

Clio stuffs the ticket in the strange machine. It works.

Dyson’s phone rings and it’s Lauren. She wants to come home. I hope home is the place where Bo is, and not some Fae compound ruled over by a new Ash. Dyson says it’s not safe, people are still looking for her. She tells Dyson to take care of her.

Vex is breaking into a car, on the phone promising money to – wait for it – Clio. He insists he will pay a lot if Bo is returned in one piece. Clio is talking on a plastic cylinder that appears and disappears from behind her ear without logical explanation. Do Apple and Google know about this communication device?

Train's coming
Train’s coming

Phone calls finished, Dyson and Clio go stand on the track, right where Eddie had once been. Clio says, “Shit’s about to get interesting. That’s a death train.” They disappear magically just as the train approaches.

Teen Tamsin sleeps in Bo’s bed as Kenzi sets off with a bejeweled gadget which she will use to pay for more Sparkle Plenty from Massimo. She swiped the jeweled thing from Trick, and he’s looking for it. Teen Tamsin may be grown Tamsin when she wakes up – did Kenzi think about that when she let her sleep in Bo’s perfect sex palace?

Amber/Lauren and Crystal are downing shots after work, still in the cafe. Yeah, I know Lauren said she couldn’t but that was before the video incident. Crystal leaves to pee and Lauren digs immediately for her phone. There’s a password. Crystal returns and tells her the password. Crystal says, “This is about that alien video.”

Thank you for deleting
Thank you for deleting

Lauren says, “That video can’t exist.” She explains about the bad people who will come for her and says she wishes she could tell Crystal more. Crystal deletes it. Lauren gives her a long, long, long hug. Crystal offers to delete 30 Instagrams of gas station sandwiches if hugging will happen again. Lauren says, “I’m Lauren.” Crystal says, “Nice to meet you, Lauren.”

I'm getting off this train
I’m getting off this train

Bo sucked enough chi from the nurse to be able to escape the train. (The train one hopes Dyson and Clio just boarded, but oh, well.) Bo opens the train door, looks out into the night, and leaps.

Personal Thoughts

  • Have they stopped using the word “fae” in every episode title?
  • Again, a light episode for new mommie Anna Silk, giving her time with the baby. And not making her stuff her new mommie body into Bo’s leather pants quite yet. However, this episode’s searching after Bo got us nowhere, really. She jumped off the train just as Dyson and Clio got on. Does that mean we have to spend another episode Bo-less? I’m ready for the succubus to be back at 100%.
  • Ali Liebert is so delicious. She’s the Marilyn Monroe of the 21st Century, minus all the simpering.
  • Maybe the props, especially the disappearing umbrella and the disappearing tube behind the ear that Clio used to communicate, were metaphors for the disappearing memories of Bo, who can’t remember Kenzi, and for Kenzi, who can’t seem to remember her own love life.
  • Rachel, where are you?