Bo (Anna Silk) is back in command of most of the scenes in Lost Girl this episode, but she’s not quite in command of her memory yet. I’m usually the queen of willing suspension of disbelief, but this episode strained even my willingness to gloss over strange plot points. Oh, who cares, Bo is back!
Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) and Clio (Mia Kirshner) pop into view on the train. Dyson is disoriented and in pain.
Clio explains (exposition is her middle name) that his pain is transcendental in nature because he isn’t an elemental (not because he’s been reading too much Ralph Waldo Emerson). Clio, the elemental, can blow red smoke rings in his ear to save him from trancendentalism.
A strange conductor appears and Dyson asks about Bo. Every time he says the word “Bo” the entire train shakes. And he says Bo a lot! They hear screams. Clio says it’s damsels (damsels?) who are trapped and trying to get out. She says they have to get out of there and find his girl.
Bo meanwhile is running through the woods in her white nightgown and Keds. Every succubus wears Keds with her nightgowns, right? She finds a house and goes inside. The furniture is covered with sheets. She hears arguing about what a shit hole this is and that it will only be for one night. A family walks in.
They are the Jenkins family, played by Lochlyn Munro, Chloe Rose and Katherine Ashby. Bo stares at them, says “Home?” and the daughter bashes her on the head with an iron skillet. Ouch.
A barefooted woman approaches a man working at a vent. It looks like its full of papers that were hidden there. Is that a wanted poster for Karen Beatie? The woman talks to the man about his piano and how she could have made him a star. Then she touches him and he turns to a puddle of goo. We know who can turn people into stars and/or puddles of goo, don’t we?
She turns to face the camera and we see that Evony (Emmanuelle Vaugier ), the once famous Morrigan, has problems. Getting trapped by Vex behind a painting of yourself apparently isn’t good for your eyes.
At the cafe, Lauren (Zoie Palmer) has reorganized the place, which she explains to Crystal (Ali Liebert) with scientific precision. She asks Crystal if she likes it and Crystal says, “Yeah, I do like.” Of course, she isn’t talking about the sugar and salt placement and whether the vinegar is next to the ketchup. She’s talking about the woman in the bad wig.
Actually, maybe Crystal does like where the sugar is, because she snakes around Lauren to get it. Lauren says, “Crystal, I can’t,” once again. Methinks she doth protest a lot.
Bo wakes up. The two Jenkins women are staring at her. Bo asks, “Were you on the train? What happened to all the smoke? Does this have something to do with Lauren?” Julia, the daughter, says, “Bitch, I think your brain broke.”
Sounds like Kenzi, does Julia. Bo says, “I am so hungry.” The mother says, “Would you like something to eat?” Bo says, “Please do not ask me that.” The father walks in from hanging a whole line of shoes on the clothesline right outside the window. Hungry Bo looks at his hunkiness. Julia says, “Could you please not look at my Dad like he’s a hot dog.” When the mother tells her to be polite, Bo says, “She reminds me of my friend. It’s comforting.”
Dad says Bo has to go. She asks to use the ladies room and instead wanders all over the house.
Dyson and Clio find Bo’s room on the train. The nurse person tells them Bo’s gone. Dyson and Clio go to the back of the train and find a scrap of the white nightgown. Clio explains that if Bo jumped from the train the transcendental delirium that had affected him could kill her. Well, an elemental could save her. Maybe.
They hold the scrap of material and leap from the train.
Bo wanders in a basement in the house, finds a room with a metal door that looks like a cell. The Jenkins crew shows up with papa aiming a double barreled shotgun at Bo and generally being in a hurry for her to get going. They say they are protecting Julia from a ghost. Papa explains how they are haunted and on this exact day each year they lock themselves in these cells until morning to escape the ghost. “Dealing with weird shit is kinda what I do,” says Bo. “I can help.”
Papa doesn’t want help. The girl protests that there is no ghost. They explain that you cannot go outside past the shoes.
Bo agrees to leave. Dad locks up Julia.
Kenzi’s favorite Druid, Massimo (Tim Rozon), walks in to Lauren’s old apartment, where a woman is doing Evony’s nails. He says, “All of a sudden you can’t live without me.” Oh, the scene with the vent must have been in Lauren’s apartment, too. I see it now.
Why is Evony living in Lauren’s apartment? Didn’t it belong to the light Fae?
Evony wants Massimo to grow her eyeball back. And he better do it right. He promises a perfect imperial brown eye with a slight touch of green near the cornea.
Bo enters Julia’s cell. Bo’s lock picking skills are definitely returning. She calls Julia “Kenz,” and asks what’s going on.
Julia shows her a scrap book filled with news clippings about Jenkins family members who killed their whole families. Her dad saw his father shoot his entire family. They think a ghost makes them do it. Bo offers to help get her out of there.
Dyson and Clio and in the woods, tracking Bo’s scent. Until Dyson loses it. But, of course, Clio knows where to find Lazy John (Darren Frost).
Seems Lazy John was buried in the woods by monkeys. (Monkeys? Global warming has forced all the monkeys to move to Canada?) Clio asks if he’s seen a succubus running through the woods. He won’t talk unless he gets what he wants.
Clio knows what he wants. She whips off her shoe and offers to let him suck “just one” of her perfectly manicured toes. No deal, he wants Dyson’s toes. I’m heartbroken to report that we did not get to see Dyson getting his toes sucked by Lazy John. But afterwards, Dyson said, “We won’t ever speak of this,” as they head in the right direction to find Bo.
Bo and Julia are making their escape through the shoes. The shoes are there because the ghost has to try on every pair – slows her down, you see. And you have to walk backwards by the shoes because a ghost can’t jump into you when you’re going backwards. At which point Bo realizes the ghost is a body jumper. Too late, because it jumps into Julia even as Bo figures it out.
Papa with his shotgun thinks he’s going to have to kill Julia because the thing is in her. Bo tries to calm him down. Turns out he was the one who killed his whole family, not his father as he led everyone to believe.
Bo feels for the guy. She knows what it’s like to have something inside you that you can’t control.
Sparks fly from the light fixtures and the fire in the fireplace flares up. Julia rises up and talks in the same kind of strange voice Bo uses when she’s Bo-the-all-powerful. Julia claims to be pure evil. Bo tells mama and papa Jenkins to go hide, and with blue eyes flashing, she faces off with evil Julia.
At the cafe, Crystal brings Lauren a tip. Lauren goes straight to the sexual tension and says, “I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”
Crystal says, “I get it.” Lauren ask her why she’s there. Crystal explains that she thinks she’s bad luck and that her dreams of being the best singer in the big city were too much. She’s settled for smaller dreams. She shows Lauren an ad for a 10 acre farm, which she wants to buy. Crystal says, “I know you’re not on the market, but if you ever want to grab some pizza and beer and vent, you know where I live.”
Lauren doesn’t think she knows where Crystal lives, but it seems Crystal put her address in with the tip. Does Lauren like this? Yes, she does.
At the house in the woods, Bo and Julia are tossing each other around the room when Dyson arrives and grabs Julia. This apparently drives the chumby (gumby? jumbie?) body jumper right out of Julia and gives Bo a chance to say hello to Dyson.
Their hug fest is interrupted by Clio, who houses the chumby now. She tries to stab Dyson.
Lauren knocks on Crystal’s door. She’s brought beer, pizza and venting.
Crystal answers the door in a tank top and undies. Lordy.
They’ve subdued Clio now, so the jumbie jumps back into Julia, who promptly slices open her mother’s throat. Clio offers to get a peony plant to stop the bleeding. Dyson wants Bo to go or she’ll die, but Bo says she’s got it, she can handle it.
Crystal and Lauren are on the floor, leaning on her bed, doing the venting and drinking and eating just like they said they would.
Pizza and beer and venting must be a great aphrodisiac because Lauren finally stopped saying I can’t and switched to yes, yes, yes. Although the experience is vigorous to the max, the red hair stays in place. How can that be?
Dyson and Bo chase Julia into the woods, where Bo heals her by sucking the chi and the chumby out of her.
Suddenly Bo is in a whole other place, with a woman in old garb – the gumbie? She tells the woman to stop torturing the Jenkins family. The woman shows her reinactments of how she was tortured by the Jenkins family as a witch. How they tried to prove to her fiancé Noah that she was a witch by holding her underwater. This didn’t kill her, not because she is a witch, but because she’s an elemental. Boy, the elementals are taking over the place.
The older Jenkins leveled his double barreled shotgun (same gun?) at the woman and her Noah. He killed them both with a single blast. Then he buried them in two different graves. That’s her problem – the separate graves.
Bo wakes up suddenly. Oh, the whole reinactment in some other place was a dream. Okay. Even so, Bo feels all the anger. The chumby is trying to take over Bo. Dyson urges her to fight.
By the way, Massimo came through. Evony likes the new eye. She kisses him. He says, “What was that?” She says she realizes now she’s been far too nice. She wants to kill the succubus. Massimo says, “She’s gone. I helped Tamsin get rid of her for you.”
With Bo gone, Evony plans to take over everything. Massimo looks a bit concerned with this news.
Bo is still struggling with the gumby anger. She says, “Separate forever.” Clio jumps up and down in excitement. She says, “I know. If we bury them together it will end the gumbies need for vengeance.”
Bo gives Dyson a big kiss, says she can fight the chumby inside her, and sends him off to find the graves. Dyson and Clio find the graves and transfer all the bones into a single grave. Dyson finds wedding rings among the bones. Dyson has wedding rings, therefore, Bo appears.
Dyson puts a ring on Bo, a ring on himself, and recites some marriage vows as if he were Noah about loving her in sickness and in death. She does the same.
This drives the jumbie out of Bo and the ghosts of the two dead lovers do a little happy dance above the graves until they settle together in one. Bo, who is apparently back to herself now, looks at her ring finger, says, “Wait. Are we?” Dyson answers, “Ready to go home.” She says, “Hell yes.”
Lauren walks into Ronny’s Cafe all happy, still chipper about her enthusiastic yes from last night. And damn, what should happen but the phone rings and Ronny says some guy has been calling every 10 minutes asking about a Karen. She keeps walking and heads out the back.
Julia Jenkins, back to her normal Kenzi-clone self, is thanking Bo and offering to share some better fashions than the mud spattered nightgown. Bo gives her a slip of paper with contact information on it. Oh, I hope that means that Chloe Rose will be coming back again. It would be fun to see the real Kenzi and this near-Kenzi crossing verbal swords in the same room!
Lauren goes to Crystal’s and tells her she has to leave town. Crystal wants to come. Lauren says no. Crystal promises not to tell anyone who Lauren is.
Dyson, Bo and Clio and walking down a road in the woods, headed home. Dyson asks Clio to do the ear thing to Bo.
Instead Clio grabs Bo and holds a knife to her throat. She wants to collect money for delivering Bo. This doesn’t go over well with Bo, who is sick of being lied to and double crossed, and who sucks Clio down to a limp mess in the middle of the road. She doesn’t completely drain her, however, because dying with a smile on her face is too good for her. They killed Mia on The L Word, they killed her on Defiance, but our Bo has a heart of gold and she proves it. Mia lives!
Bo and Dyson walk away from Clio and talk about heading home. Later in the car, Bo is leaning on Dyson’s shoulder as he drives. They’re holding hands. She says, “I can’t wait to see everyone. Kenzi. Hale. Trick.” Hmm, isn’t there a name missing from that list? Dyson says, “Someday we’re going to have to talk about what happened on that train.” Bo says, “What train?” Dyson says, “I don’t know.” But Bo will figure out what happened to her one way or another.
Lauren is beside the road, trying to hitch a ride. Who should stop for her but Crystal. Lauren hops in, says, “I’m really happy to see you.” Crystal answers, “I’m really sorry.” Someone appears from the back seat and holds a cloth over Lauren’s nose, knocking her out. Big questions for next week: who was in the back seat and why did Crystal betray Lauren?
Bo and Dyson drive past Crystal’s car stopped on the side of the road. Bo says, “Should we stop?” Dyson says, “Whoever that is can fix their own flat tire.”
Personal Thoughts
- Welcome back, Bo. We missed you.
- Bo and Lauren were in the same neck of the woods through this entire episode. So close, yet so far away.
- Is the illogical crap in the plot lines part of the memory issue afflicting everyone on Lost Girl? Please.
- Not a word was said about Bo’s father in this episode. Want to bet me that they drag that particular point out to the last episode of season 4?
- Just when Lauren started trusting that temptress Crystal, we learn she’s sold Lauren out. Man, the worst things happen to Lauren. Plus, this rules out any future horizontal mamboing between Lauren and Crystal, which is a crying shame. Come on, y’all, Bo and Lauren are on a break – Lauren can mambo where she wants. It seems doing the mambo with anyone but Bo results in betrayal, however. Is there some deeper message in that?
- It would have been nice for Dyson and Clio to take a moment to fill the grave full of reunited bones back in. You know, instead of walking off leaving the grave wide open. That’s like Bette and Tina stumbling off for the bed while leaving the gas on full blast under the stir fry. We worry over these details, dear writers and editors.
- I hope we haven’t seen the last of Mia Kirshner and Ali Liebert!
Discover more from Old Ain't Dead
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.